The Firstborn Child

The information I share today comes from Thriving Family (Focus on the Family) magazine.

Do you believe in the impact of birth order in families?  Oh my word, I do!  And once you have three children you really start to see the impact that each child plays on the family.

Firstborns and only children are known to be, "reliable, conscientious, they tend to be list makers and black and white thinkers.  They have a keen sense of right and wrong and believe there is a right way to do things.  They are natural leaders and achievement-oriented."  If you were to poll who the leaders of our country are many of them if not most of them are first-borns!

I have blogged again and again about my confident, smart, independent, creative, and nurturing daughter Julia.  And after reading the book Birth Order by Dr. Kevin Leman (recommended by my mentor Christy Weaver)...I have seen exactly the traits that they say a first born child usually has...and now that my son is a middle child it is amazing how he fits the middle child qualities...but my question has always been, HOW do I parent my firstborn, middle child, and youngest differently?

Thriving Family Magazine in this years Summer issue gives 
8 Tips...and they are awesome!

1. When disciplining the firstborn child, beware of reinforcing his ingrained perfectionism by "should-ing" him all the time.

2. Don't be an "improver" on everything your firstborn or only child says or does.

3. Realize the firstborn has a particular need to know exactly what the rules are.

4. Recognize the firstborns first place in the family.  Firstborns should get some special privileges to go along with the additional responsibilities.

5. Take two-on-one time--BOTH parents out with the oldest child alone.  A firstborn responds better to adult company than children of any other birth order.

6. Stay away from making your firstborn your instant baby sitter.

7. As your firstborn grows older, be sure you don't pile on more responsibilities.  Give some of the responsibilities to the younger children as soon as they are capable.

8. When your firstborn is reading to you and has trouble with a word, don't be so quick to jump in with a correction.  A first born is extremely sensitive to criticism and being corrected.

If you are a parent, and you have children you must be having an Ah-ha! moment right now like I did after reading this!

I am constantly correcting and improving my Julia...to a fault.  I don't mean to but now I am really going to be more aware of how I parent her and be more sensitive.  I don't want her to be hung up on being perfect.  I constantly remind her to just do her best, because she gets so upset if (her homework, her room, the play room, her doll house) it is not PERFECT.

I also want to take her out on more mommy/daddy dates without the other kids.  I didn't realize how beneficial this was, but I do remember these moments going so well and really enjoying her more when we are one on one.  She is so smart and talkative and it's easy to enjoy her one on one.

I'm also really excited this summer she will be traveling with her dad to Arkansas for 5 days.  They will be able to have one on one time and she will get Daddy all to herself.  I know this trip will also boost her self esteem, confidence and fill her love tank since she loves quality time, like I do.

I can't wait to show John this article and get more ideas on how we can better raise our awesome firstborn!  Firstborns are great and sometimes they get more responsibilities and get in trouble more because they are the older one and should know better, but that isn't always fair.

I will be posting next week on Middle Child tips and Last born tips!!!

Have a great weekend and enjoy your families!