The First Few Weeks

Bringing a Newborn Home

Those first few weeks at home with a newborn are so many things, they are magical, they are exciting, they are surreal, they are wonderful but let's be honest, they are so hard!  When every second you are needed to feed, change, rock, burp, hold, entertain a small one AND keep the rest of your life in order (pay bills, buy food, cook meals, keep the other kids alive) it starts to dawn on you how massive the task of a newborn can be.

Here is just a quick post on how not only to simply survive those first few weeks, but to even thrive a little.  God has given you this amazing task of parenthood.  Your baby that you've held in heart/mind/body is now HERE in the flesh.  Make the most of every moment and be able to take a shower and smell good too.

Step 1-

Let others help you!

Do you even know how exciting it is for others to see you and the baby right now?  You are it sweetheart!  You did it!  You had this baby and people want to help you, cook meals for you, bring you gifts, hear your birth story (however wonderful or traumatic it was), hold your baby, clean your toilets.  We will do just about anything to help you at this time and the biggest mistake you could make at this time is to say, no.  Don't do it.  Let people stop by and bring a meal.  This doesn't mean you let people stay over for hours on end, have boundaries, but please dear one, let people in.  Let mamas spoil you... let people make you chili, let people fold your laundry, let people do your dishes or watch your other kids.  If they offer say YES!  Because after a few months the newness will be gone and it will be you and your little one alone on the couch wondering where all the people are!  This is good not only for the other kids in your house to see how loved you are, to feel the support, for your husband to have extra help too is wonderful, but it will brighten your days, it feels so good to share your birth story with friends, it is so cool to see your family and friends bond with your baby.  

Step 2-

Use paper products!

You are not Martha Stewart.  You are not Joanna Gaines.  You just had a baby and you need rest, you need to bond with your baby, and you need to put your feet up when that baby closes his/her eyelids.  I never knew how much I needed to rest until after I had a newborn.  My body was so tired and instead of listening to my body every time Julia or Mark slept I thought it was my lot in life to clean the house, cook the next meal, and do yet another load of laundry.  Girlfriend, it took me until I had Micah to actually R. E. S. T.  Paper products may be bad for the planet, but for 3-4 weeks it's not a big deal.  Use paper plates, napkins, and paper cups.  The less you have to wash, the less you have to put in the dish washer, the less you have to put away the BETTER.  If people who are bringing you a meal ask do you need me to bring anything else say, "Would you mind brining paper plates by?"  And they will and you will be so thankful.  Trust me.  I have learned that the less cleaning I do the more family quality time I have and that my sweet is more precious to me than gold.

Step 3-

Take a million pictures!

Listen, sweet pants, this new baby is going to be so well fed and so well rested and be in size 3 months clothing and size 1 diapers before you know it!  Now is the time to take pictures of them in their crib, in their siblings laps, on their Daddy's chest.  Now is the time to paint their hand and make finger prints and foot prints and frame them.  Now is the time to take a picture of them propped up by a window where they are getting extra sunlight because they are jaundice.  Now is the time to take 2 million selfies with them.  There is no such thing as over posting when you have a newborn.  People love to see babies.  They are all so sweet and beautiful.  Take a million pictures because once they start crawling picture taking is a whole different ball game.

Step 4-

Don't worry about the Weight!

Hey, it took 9 months to put the 30 something (more or less) pounds on, and it's completely ok for it to take 9 months to get it all off.  Don't stress about baby weight.  Nobody cares.  Really, nobody is thinking how you need to lose weight.  All they care about is you and that sweet baby you brought into the world.  Seriously don't get hung up on things like fitting back into all your clothes at a certain point.  You either will or you won't and if you have to get some new clothes down the line you will.  Take care of you and the baby and really your body will do a great job for you.  Put everything into perspective.  You are beautiful.  You are loved.  And God has blessed you with a family to care for.

Step 5-

Cherish Every Minute.

I used to hate when people would say that to me after I had Julia.  Like really?  Cherish the fact that I can't sleep for 8 hours anymore?  Cherish the fact that I have leaky boobs on my clean shirts.  Cherish the fact that I now have double the amount of laundry/work in my life?  Cherish the fact that my nipples are sore and I'm tired all of the time.  Yup.  Want to know why?  In a few weeks you are going to be completely in a rhythm.  You got this mom thing!  You were made to be a Mom.  And when you cherish the moment you realize how quickly this baby will be a kid.  This is just a season in the parent hood life.  It doesn't stay like this for long.  In a few months it will be a new thing to cherish...teething, rolling over, crawling, eating solids, sitting up, talking...it keeps changing, they keep growing, and the thing is you will too.  You will grow and change and cherish each season and then you can look back on the memories with fondness and joy and remember how great it was to sit on the couch holding a sweet newborn that just spit up all over you.  Trust me.  It's all in perspective. Cherish this time.  Be so thankful for every minute.  God is so good.  He is bigger than any of your problems or issues you may be facing.  He is there with you in these moments.  And He loves you.  He will guide you every step of the way on your parenthood journey!  Just allow Him to.

5 T I P S: Surviving After School Time to Bedtime

We all know that crazy time between 3:00-8:00p.m.  It's loud, it's chaotic, there's hungry people hovering over the kitchen counter, there's homework to be done, and there's after school activities to get ready for and of course a parent is needed to drive the children there, AND there's remembering everything for the next day of school.

It's enough to make any normal, sane parent completely C R A Z Y!

I've talked to my two closest friends about this time over coffee and by the end of the conversation we all felt like hyperventilating.

Let's be honest, just surviving homework with one child is rough, let alone add 2, 3, 4, or more.

Dinner has to be prepped and cooked.

Everyone wants a snack.

People are fighting over electronic devices.

Toddlers are whining to play outside.

And poor mom (me) is crouching down in the corner of a the dining room chugging her 3rd cup of coffee just to survive the next 5 minutes, let alone the next 5 hours!!!

Tip 1

Prep your meals.  

No, I'm not kidding.  I'm completely serious and this is the only way I survive motherhood.  I have a plan for pretty much everything starting with MEALS!  And now that I have older kids I have them help me plan Sunday night (sometimes I plan the month in advance, most times I plan a week or two in advance) and Monday morning when they are in school I food shop for the week.  Get your kids involved because the more they can help plan things, the better chance you have of encouraging them to eat their dinner.  The calm you will feel knowing that dinner is already prepped, thawed, or in the crock pot will do wonders for the post school stress! Know what meals you are making ahead of time and plan accordingly when you food shop.  To read more about my meal plan strategies and how I gather meals for the week/month click here.

Tip 2

Collect lunch bags/boxes at the door and proceed to the kitchen counter to pack them for the next day.

I know this sounds crazy but it works and it's done and you don't even think about it.  It's a routine.  You greet the kids at the door.  "Hi, how was your day, can I see your lunch box and your homework folder?"  My kids sit at the counter eat anything that was leftover from lunch and they tell me all about their day and I tell them all about my day (I got this from my sweet friend Laura and the article she posted recently.  Kids love to hear about your day and then want to share about their day).  As you are talking you are placing apples, clementines, granola bars, juice boxes, water bottles into their lunch boxes and packing their snack for the next day.  I leave them on the counter and in the morning I make their sandwich.

**Another Tip:  When you buy crackers, pretzels, cookies, almonds: buy snack size zip lock bags (the super small ones) and fill the snack bags ahead of time and stack in a pantry or drawer, then when you are lunch/snack packing that part is already done. (Thanks Beth!  My amazing neighbor/friend from across the street who also has 4 awesome kids gave me this tip last year).

Tip 3

Check homework folder at the door.

I have found that kids completely forget they have homework.  Even if they just wrote their assignments down on their homework pad at 2:45pm.  I like to collect their folder at the door look through it and take out what needs to be done.  I leave it on the counter so we can all see it.  I am all for letting kids snack and play for 30-60 minutes to decompress after school.  I let them go in the back yard and run and scream, jump rope, ride their bikes, but by 4:00 you better come inside ready to get down to it!  I like homework done before dinner because I like dinner time to be relaxing.

**Bonus Tip: Keep back packs by the front door at all times.  Anything that needs to go back to school tomorrow should be there with the back pack, gloves, hat, gym shoes, show and tell, this way nothing is forgotten and it's all in plain view!

Tip 4

Teach them to be responsible.

Listen, we can't do it all.  We just can't.  This crazy busy time is a great way to D E L E G A T E.  I actually hate this but am really trying to do this more because I want my kids to be responsible kids.  I want them to learn to wash the dishes, wash their own clothes, fold their laundry, make their beds, put their laundry away, put the cap back on the toothpaste...(for the love of pete put the cap back on!)

So after homework time I assign some chores honestly to keep the busy, but also to teach them that we are a team and that mommy and daddy can not do everything.  Everyone needs to pitch in.  So while I am helping Julia with homework, Mark might be putting his laundry away.  When I am doing spelling review or reading with Mark, Julia is organizing the toys in the basement or cleaning up the office.  I even have the big kids help me with setting the table, putting the condiments out, getting the drinks ready.  And after dinner we clean up the kitchen together.  (Let me tell you I would love to do this all by myself because it's cathartic for me but teaching them life skills is super important).

**Make them read.  I never met an adult who complains about their parents having made them read a lot when they were young.  Reading is awesome.  I make my kids read at least 20-25 minutes more than the teacher suggests/requires.  I don't care if it's a magazine, a novel or a picture book but make them read!  We do mandatory DEAR time (Drop Everything And Read)  And even though Micah and Mia can't read they've been read to so much they just copy the words from memory or make up their own story.

Tip 5

Enjoy them.  Read the extra book.

Guys, my Micah is turing 4 this week.  Did you hear that?  My baby boy is turning 4 and this summer Amelia will be 3.  These kids are growing up.  It's all happening faster than I thought it would.  So even during the stressful hours of the day I try to take a deep breath and enjoy them.  I try to enjoy watching Mark teach me his latest Kung-Fu spin side kick.  I try to enjoy Julia telling me every single detail about her day.  Every.  Single.  Detail.  I try to enjoy Amelia trying on her 7th pair of click clack shoes and skipping down the hall.  And I definitely enjoy Micah riding his swing car back and forth from the play room to the dining room to the kitchen to the foyer over and over and over.  Because one day it will just be me and John.  They will be all grown up and conquering the world and all I will have is the memory of the loudness that once filled our home.  (Ok, so now I'm crying...thanks.)  

I learned from a wise mom that the hour leading to bedtime is really a "fill my love tank" hour.  Everyone wants one more book, one more hug, Julia wants one more tip or bit of advice about surviving third grade girl drama, Mark wants to show me one more origami plane he can create.  They all need to be filled and this is a great time to talk to them about Jesus, to go over how they can be a blessing to others in their class.  It's a great time to tell them why you think they are special.  I think of all the cruel things they may hear during the school day and sometimes they just need to be loved on and encouraged and built back up.  So my advice is, no matter how tired you are, read the extra book they ask for, sing one more silly song, share a story about how you felt as a child, share a time where God really "showed up" for you.  Use the bedtime hour (because let's face it sometimes it takes a lot longer than you expected) to fill their love tanks.

This season will surely pass and soon they will be middle schoolers and high schoolers and...

Our Top Ten List

The List

This post is for my Mother in Law.  She asked me to make a list of all the fun places I take my kids to so she could take her grandkids Nik and Ava.

Before I start with the list let me remind you who I married.  John is a financial advisor and could also be described as the man who sews his pockets and wallet shut.   Just teasing!  John has always been very good with saving money, planning for the future, and investing.  This is truly one of his gifts and why he does so well in NYC on Wall Street.

John believes in splurging and getting really good gifts at Christmas and possibly anniversaries.  That's about it.  He has made a rule with the kids that unless it's Christmas or your birthday don't bother walking through a gift shop and thinking we are getting you a toy because it's not going to happen (we are wired so differently because I love gift shops).  Anyway, John also believes in getting memberships to places that we frequent often, so many of the places I am listing today we have a membership to.  So I fully recommend that if you like going to zoos and science centers and they provide yearly memberships--join, because you will save so much money, and also pack lunches!

1. Turtle Back Zoo

TBZ Website  Located in West Orange this zoo is by far one of my favorite NJ zoos (Although Cape May County Zoo is my next favorite and it's FREE but 2 hours away).  This zoo has penguins, peacocks, seals, sting rays, kimono dragons, a farm where you can feed the animals, a Dinosaur playground, a reptile center, a live working train (that we ride at least 2-3 times each visit...it's just how we roll!) and this year the zoo gained giraffes!  We have a membership and try to go at least once every 2 months and in the spring and summer time we go once a month.  Parking is included and you can bring a bagged lunch which is very helpful for brining the cost down.

2. Liberty Science Center

LSC Website Located in Jersey City (Exit 14C off the NJ Turnpike) this is by far one of our favorite places to go!  They have a new kid exhibit every few months and right now it's Curious George and it's adorable.  They've also had Sid the Science Kid, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sesame Street, and Dora the Explorer.  They have 4 floors of learning fun including a mini zoo, an Imax DomeTheater and a separate 3D Movie Theater.  You can bring a bagged lunch and purchase a yearly membership.  We go once a month because it just never gets old.  Our favorite area is usually the 2-5 year old zone on the 2nd floor (they have a rice table sensory center, story time, large light bright, painting with water, and a climbing area).  The 4th floor and 3rd floors are the busiest but the most educational (dissecting cow eyes, learning about infections, learning about the body, learning about motion, etc).  On the 4th floor you can go outside and see the NY skyline, the kids like to pretend they can see John working in his office building. 

3. Adventure Aquarium

Adventure Aquarium Website Located in Camden NJ, this aquarium is a bit of a journey, about an hour and 15 minutes from our home but we love seeing the sharks and the hippos and it's a treat to go because Daddy always comes with us!  This aquarium is huge!  It has a whole floor dedicated just to toddlers and of course tons of touch tanks where kids can feel some of the sea creatures.  The yearly membership just made sense for us because we have such a large family and by the time we went twice it paid for itself.

4. Cheesequake Farms

That's my Julia!

CF Website Located in Old Bridge NJ although there are 2 locations off route 9 and off Cottrell road we always go to the one off Cottrell because you can do the corn maze, pony rides, and hay ride, and pick your pumpkin from the pumpkin patch.  It cost us $20 ($4 per person) to do the hay ride and corn maze for all 5 of us and Mia was free (2 and under are FREE).  We always wait to do it on the weekends in October so John can come and they are open until 5pm.  The pumpkins you pick you pay by the pound and this year Julia was able to lift and carry a $10 pumpkin (Daddy must love his baby girl!)

5. Terhune Orchards

Terhune Orchards Website Located in the beautiful Princeton, NJ this is by far our most favorite childhood place.  I fully believe that when the kids are grown and have families of their own they will still have very fond memories of this place.  I started taking the kids to the Read and Pick program when Julia was 2 and Mark was a baby.  They picked their first strawberries, apples, pumpkins, flowers and asparagus right here at this farm.  We love coming to the reading program that incorporates good literature with agriculture, and the homemade cider donuts never go out of style.  They have a field of kid sized tractors that all of my kids love to ride, not to mention a feeding the sheep area, and playground with slide.  The Farmer's Market is open 9-5pm and it costs $7 per child if you do the read and pick program and usually whatever you pick is included in the fee.  The staff is amazing and they love what they do and they treat the children as if they were there own.

Julia at 3 and Mark at 2 :)

6. Allaire State Park

Allaire State Park Website Located in Farmingdale, NJ This historical colonial village has been a near and dear place to my heart since I taught third graders at Timothy Christian School.  I used to bring them to this park to experience life in the colonial days.  The park has a blacksmith shop, a chapel/school room, a bakery, and actual colonial homes from the 1800s.  It also has a railroad station and a functioning train (you know how we love trains!) Pine Creek Railroad.  The only thing that has changed is that they took down the old playground that my kids used to love to play on...I'm not sure if they are rebuilding, but just walking through the village is entertaining enough.  There is also a huge pond, and all the workers dress up in 19th century clothing and explain their "roles" in the 1800s.  It is really cool and the only cost is $5 per car to park.  There are picnic tables so that you can bring your own lunches and eat there but there is a carry out trash policy.

Allaire State Park

7. Holmdel Park

Holmdel Website Located in the beautiful Holmdel, NJ, the best part about this enormous park is the Longstreet Farm and my kids would say the huge playground area.  The park and the farm are free.  And like Allaire state park the Longstreet Farm people dress in the time period of colonial times.  You can get a tour of the farm and the houses for free and learn so much history about the area and the family who lived there.   Julia and Mark learned how to milk a cow at this farm and Mark learned how to run very fast from the peacock that scared him half to death when he was 3.  He still has a fear of peacocks to this day (I am just kidding).  The kids love the chicken coop area, and the horses and cows and the huge sow that has piglets every spring.  We did our first family photo shoot at Holdmel. It is beautiful in the Fall.   There is a huge pond to the left of the farm and there are many hills and trails to go running and hiking on, and paved sidewalks to bring bikes for the kids.

8. Jenkinson's Aquarium

Jenkinson's Website Located in Point Pleasant, NJ this is a much closer but much smaller aquarium and although the kids love the penguins and seals and sharks, my favorite part is the gift shop!  I also love that the aquarium is right on the board walk next to plenty of places to eat and shop and there's an especially good candy shop right next door.  The stamp your hand on the way in and you can leave and come back any time that day.  It's practically empty in the Fall and Winter months so that is when we choose to go, during the summer it is always packed with boardwalk traffic going in and out.

9. Wonder Wing Museum

Wonder Wing Website in Lincroft, NJ located on the Brookdale Community College campus. This museum is for children ages 0-6.  Julia, Mark and Micah loved this place, but once Julia turned 7 we couldn't go anymore.  (I plan on taking Micah and Mia with our Mops group very soon now that the big kids are in school).  The cost is $7 per person, babies are free.  I used to have a membership to the museum when we would go during the fall and winter months a lot.  There is a craft room, a dress up area, and book reading area, a tumble mat, a slide, a bridge to cross, a huge boat to climb up on and underneath the boat is a kitchen with all kitchen toys which all the kids love to put in their mouths (gross!)  There is no eating in the museum and they provide no space inside at all to eat snacks even.  There are picnic benches outside but when it's raining and the kids are hungry you have to go to the car to eat.  

10. Battleview Orchards

Battleview Website Located in Freehold, NJ and literally 10 minutes from my house this is the place we pick our apples and peaches and since we moved here our pumpkins.  They have an amazing Market to buy fresh pies and cider donuts as well.  This is a great place to meet friends and go picking in a large group because they own so much property and acres of fruit trees.  The prices are very reasonable and their fruit is always amazing.

I hope this list was helpful!  One of the joys of my life has been being able to be a stay at home mom for the past 9 years and take my kids to some amazing places to touch, taste, smell, see and hear all the beautiful sights and sounds and learn all the history of this big beautiful world we live in!  I hope this was a helpful resource to all of you!  Please be sure to check out the website links I attached to get updated prices and times so that you can take your own family to these awesome places.

Start Them Young: Job Charts

Learning to be a Responsible

"The price of greatness is responsibility."--Winston Churchill

     I don't know if it is the teacher in me, or the fact that I grew up with week day and Saturday chores, but I completely believe in giving my kids jobs/roles around the house.  We don't call ourselves Team Mac for nothing!  How else do I teach my kids to be responsible?  I know so many other parents who agree with us.  Giving children jobs around the home while they are young is a good thing.  Of course they might not think so, but one day, looking back they will have to agree that learning to work hard is always beneficial.  No one intentionally raises lazy, entitled kids.

"Find joy in everything you choose to do.  Every job, relationship, home...it's your responsibility to love it or change it."  Chuck Palahniuk

    The difficulty with Job Charts and giving your kids responsibilities is being consistent with it.  I get all excited and ready to go every August, and then after a few weeks I find myself doing all the chores myself (because let's face it, sometimes it's just easier to do it yourself) and completely putting the lists aside.  I have found what helps is accountability with your spouse and your kids.  Have a quick family meeting talking about why these new jobs/roles are important and then (for the older kids) give them a list to keep in their room to remind them.  The kids can tape it to the back of their bedroom door or their desk so they don't lose it (with that cool colorful tape they have now!)  Also, start small, give your child 1-2 new jobs per week and once you have a good rhythm going then add another.

"Quit making excuses.  Putting it off.  Complaining about it.  Dreaming about it.  Whining about it.  Crying about it.  Believing you can't.  Worrying if you can.  Waiting until you are older.  Make a plan & just do it." -Nike

  Some jobs/roles I find important to start with first are in the kids bedrooms.  Making their beds in the morning and cleaning up their toys before bedtime should become daily habits.  Then move to the common areas like the kitchen, dining room, and bathrooms.  

We have 4 kids so here are their ages and the jobs they are able to handle.  Sometimes seeing what another kid the same age as your own really helps.  I was recently at a women's conference and the speaker was listing jobs her kids did and it was very convicting to me and eye opening because I had become very slack in this area.

Julia is 8 years old: Makes her bed, cleans the kids bathroom (puts away toothpaste/toothbrushes, replaces toilet paper rolls, wipes down the counter, uses the dust buster to vacuum), Julia also knows how to sort laundry and fold laundry, she clears the dinner table and empties the dishwasher at nighttime, she also watches the kids when I am in the shower or when the kids are in the back yard playing, and she feeds the chickens.

Mark is 7 years old: Makes his bed, collects all the trash from the bins in each room, brings trash to the curb, sets the table, clears the table, sweeps dining room floor, feeds the chickens, and Mark folds the laundry (THE BEST) and puts the laundry on everyone's bed for me.  Mark also watches the babies when I take a shower.

Micah is 3 years old: Learning to make his bed, he puts away his shoes inside the closet, puts dirty clothes in the hamper, puts the napkins and silverware on the dinner table.

Amelia is 2 years old: We sing the clean up song and she puts her toys away, Puts clothes in the washer machine (front loader), she also is going to put cups on the dinner table starting this week

"It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do."--Moliere

  One of the major reasons I am writing the post is to get myself back into the groove of holding my own kids accountable for their responsibilities in the home.  I figure if I am taking the time to write about it, I need to actually do it consistently!  And after writing this I realized how lax I have become with Micah and Amelia.  Julia and Mark were doing so much more at their ages and I really needed to step it up with the little ones!  

Quick Recap:

1. Family Meeting

2. Give 1-2 Age Appropriate Jobs

3. Print a List and tape to the back of their bedroom door

4. Be consistent 

5. Once a rhythm is established add another job

Awesome Responsibility Quotes Link

Age Appropriate Jobs For Kids Link

Job Chart for Kids Link

Surviving Standardized Testing!

Our First Day of School 2014 Picture

The Year is Drawing to a Close

Our curriculum books are nearing the end.  We have finished our 24 weeks of Classical Conversations Cycle 3. We have learned so much in the past 7 months and we still have about 6-7 weeks of school left.  But now its time to really start assessing how much the big kids have learned and see how well I have taught them.

This year I wanted to do standardized testing for many reasons.  Actually, I wanted to test last year but with the move happening and being in my third trimester with Amelia I decided to wait until I could test both big kids this year since Mark has almost completed Kindergarten and Julia is now towards the end of Second Grade.  If I tested last year Julia would've done it alone.  This year I was able to prepare both kids at the same time and each of them got to experience it together but in their own age appropriate group.

We started prepping for the test at the beginning of January and our official test was the second week in April 6-8 (during most school's spring breaks).  In January I registered my children online and bought sample test booklets through BJU Press and I even bought practice workbooks in Reading and Math at Barnes and Noble.  I figured that we could work on it a little bit each day.  

We also did some fun activities when we completed the sample test and workbooks as a reward for the hard effort and time they put in.

Testing Skills To Teach Young Children:

1. Do your best!

I went over this a lot with my kids.  I told them that this test is just one way of showing us (John and I) how much they have learned.  We already know they are brilliant.  This is their first big standardized test and it will help all of us to see how they compare to other children in the country and help us to see if they are at the correct grade level.  Testing is just one tool to use to assess, there are so many other ones!  Some kids are more articulate and verbal (Julia), some kids love to read quietly and solve problems (Mark), some kids just want the test to be over as quickly as possible (Julia), some kids find tests to be really easy (Mark), some kids love a new challenge (both my kids).  I am excited to see our results.  All I wanted them to do was their best.  

2. Take your time! 

For the kids who just want to hurry up and be done it is helpful to tell them to take their time. So often students make silly errors when they rush.  It is really great to prepare ahead of time with a practice test from BJU press because we were able to see how the testing process works and go over the right answers (they give you the answers at the end to review with your kids.  It was an extra $15 but worth it. 

Teaching students to read each question throughly, and to eliminate wrong answers is a really important life skill.  We worked on eliminating obvious wrong answers and talking through the process of choosing the best answer for each problem.  It's was a lot easier to teach this for Math than it was for History, Science, and Reading Comprehension.  I noticed throughout this testing process that Mark is a naturally good test taker.  He just gravitates towards all the right answers.  Julia is a true thinker, and sometimes she over thinks questions.  She did well, but I could see that sometimes she didn't understand the question completely and over thought her answer choice.  It's something that we can work on for future tests.

3. Choose an answer even if you aren't sure!

I wish I would have gone over this one a bit more.  Remind students to try not to leave blank answers when they are unsure.  It is actually better to take an educated guess than to leave the answer blank.  At least then if you guess, you have a chance of being right as opposed to automatically getting all the blanks wrong.  Explaining this ahead of time is key!


4. Don't forget to pray before the test!

Don't be so focused on getting to the test on time, packing lunches and snacks, filling out forms, and remembering your number 2 pencils, that you forget to pray.  (I'm so thankful my kids both had proctors who prayed before the test because the first day I totally forgot with all the rushing and preparing I was doing.)  It's so important to trust God with these special moments and to teach our kids that ultimately God has a plan, all we can do is our best.  And it is so important that if they are nervous to pray because God loves when we bring our concerns to Him.  It was a good thing for me to remember because my kids were not nervous at all, but I was for them!  And in the hustle and bustle I forgot to pray in the car with them and so it was a great opportunity for me to say, hey guys, mommy forgot to pray with you, let's do it now!


The three testing days went faster than we expected.  Mark's test was only Monday and Tuesday.  Julia's was all three days with 3-4 sections each day.  So we showed up around 8:30 and left around noon each day.  By the time we got home the kids were ready to eat and play.  I let the rest of the days be very low key, no school work type days.  We even went to the park the first day and got ice cream because it was so hot out!

We survived our first standardized test with two babies in tow!  Micah and Amelia hung out in the nursery while I served there with the other little people.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Eating Clean

New Year, New Me

It's all about eating clean, and eating right these days.  On Monday morning I threw out all the old cookies, candy, cupcakes, etc that have been in the house because of the holidays and Julia's birthday.  

Monday night when John got home I went out to buy all healthy foods with little or no preservatives added.  Foods like, fruit, veggies, eggs, and some whole wheat pita, cottage cheese, almonds, etc.  And about $65 later I headed home with about 6 bags of groceries and a new attitude.

We are keeping our portions smaller, drinking more water, and not snacking bad between meals.  The two times of the day that I struggle with bad food choices are at 2pm and after dinner.  So, instead of chips, crackers, or hot chocolate, I've been eating celery, oranges, carrots, almonds, and drinking herb tea!  I have found that eating clean means you actually eat more, but you eat more of the foods you need.  

I've also been adding a protein and veggie to my breakfasts instead of just having toast or cereal.  Adding a protein and a vegetable or fruit, keeps me fuller so much longer!  And the mornings we rush out the door I just have cottage cheese and fruit if I don't have time to whip up some eggs or a meat with breakfast.

I've noticed the kids are eating more at meal time because we aren't snacking as much, and I've also noticed them drinking more water which makes me happy!

Eating clean just takes a few extra minutes chopping veggies or pealing fruit, but honestly I feel better already and it's only been a few days!  I want to eat like this forever of course but I am going to see how the next 3 weeks go because they say it takes about 21 days to form a habit, and then I am going to weigh myself and hopefully see some fun results that will encourage me to want to do this more!

How To Get Your Child To Enjoy Bedtime

The 4 B's in our Bedtime Routine

Here are 4 Ways/and my reasons to ensure that your child not only sleeps through the night but ENJOYS bedtime in their own room, and in their own bed.

Listen, when you got married there was an unspoken rule that it would just be the two of you in bed together.  Can you imagine if John and I didn't have that?  We would have 4 kids in bed with us by 2014 if we didn't expect our children to sleep in their own beds!  How romantic can it be with 4 kids in bed with you and your spouse? Not.  At.  All.

Being a teacher, and John being a Taekwondo instructor (on the side, you all know his main corporate job is a financial advisor) we are pretty strict about certain things, and we really try to honor the routine and keep the structure in our home to promote safety and well being for all of us.

1. Start the routine when they are young.  Now, if you have older children it's never too late to start a routine, but remember any habit takes at least 30 days (give yourself a month).  We started our bedtime ritual with Julia, our oldest, when she was a newborn.  It was honestly one of my favorite times of the day, not because she was going to bed, but because we spent quality time together and snuggling was a part of it.  We did bath time after dinner or her last feeding, and then we headed into her room for pajamas, a clean diaper, books in the rocking chair, and we would place her in her crib while turning out the lights and we always put on either a music CD, or a children's book on CD  I would give kisses and hugs and close the door halfway.

2. As your child gets older have them choose their books.  Even now, Micah is only 16 months and he picks out the books he wants at bedtime and crawls right into our laps.  And usually we have to read certain books more than once.  But this is the beauty of bedtime.  Your child is enjoying hearing you read to them, they are choosing their favorite books, and repetition is so good for them to build their vocabulary and grow as readers.  I love hearing Micah crack up laughing at his favorite books.  He loves "Caps for Sale" and those silly monkeys (we of course use silly voices) and he loves, "No, David" (because David is super naughty and I think Micah feels bad for little David who is always getting into trouble).  I can still remember Julia's favorite book in the bath tub which was all about fish, and her favorite book in the bedroom was "Good Night Moon" and "Pat the Bunny".  Mark always loved the Spot books because he liked to open the flaps and turn the pages.  You can learn so much from your child by the books they like.

3. Promoting Safety and Well-Being is so important as a parent.  Our children need to feel safe in our homes.  I can remember growing up in a home where I heard my parents argue at night.  I can remember laying in my bed and being so fearful and praying they would stop yelling.  When John and I got engaged one thing we discussed was that if we ever had a disagreement we would never ever raise our voices or let the children hear us argue.  It was so important to me to be the safety keeper for my children and create a home that they felt loved in and safe and secure.  I wanted them to always feel the love between us and that is why we hug and kiss in front of our children even if they say, "Ewwww, gross!"  I know secretly it makes them feel at ease knowing how much their parents love each other.  Creating a routine that you stick to every night (there will be exceptions, like when a new baby comes, or a child/parent is sick), is so comforting to kids because they know what to expect!  They never have to wonder...what is going to happen next, they know the routine and can easily adapt to it.  And trust me by the time they are 2 they will be reminding you of the routine and any parts you skip!

4. If your child cries at bedtime be consistent with your mode of action.  If you are starting the bedtime ritual now and trying to get your child to sleep in their own room, own crib, own bed and they are resisting, fear not.  You are not alone.  So many moms/dads struggle with bedtime.  I hear stories all the time.  Especially from frustrated parents who can't get their child to sleep in their own bed through the night.  We talk about this at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) a lot.  It can be a struggle, especially with a strong willed child, or if a new baby has been born, or you move, or you got into the habit of falling asleep with your child.  So, I use the 5-10-15 method.  John and I use this when Micah (our most strong willed and stubborn sleeper) starts to resist going straight to bed.  He loves the bath and book time, but sometimes puts up a fight when it's time for the crib.  So we let him cry for 5 minutes, go back in, lay him down, rub his back, and leave.  Sometimes that does the trick, sometimes we have to leave and hear him cry again, we wait 10 minutes the next time and go in rub his back and leave.  Eventually they go to sleep... they get tired of the fight and they see you are consistent.  If you watch Supernanny she does something very similar to that method but actually stays in the room, not talking and waits for the child to go to sleep.  The first night near the bed/crib.  The second night by the door.  The third night in the hallway.  Usually it takes 3 days for them to finally just go to sleep on their own.

We call it the 4 B's

1. Bath or Shower

2. Brush teeth

3. Bathroom 

4. Books and Prayer

This post is dedicated to my best friend Cinzia who inspired me to write it!

The Lie

Parenting is Heart Work

It was bound to happen at some point, right? None of our kids are perfect or beyond correction.  And all of them watch our behaviors and we are not perfect.  I shouldn't have been surprised, but yesterday while giving Micah's his nightly bath in our Master Bathroom, Julia came in, lip quivering, and ready to confess.

I'm not one of those people who enjoy drawn out confessions, and I hated seeing her in such agony, but I knew this was going to be one of our "defining mother/daughter moments."  Isn't that weird that I kind of knew that before it even happened?  Call it mommy tuition I guess.

So the conversation went something like this:

"Mommy, (I feel like it's always "Mommy" during humble moments) I have to tell you something...because it's always (lip quivering, hands shaking) good to tell the truth."  very long pause, starting to cry.

"What Julia?  What is it?  Just tell me."  She was all the way at the door and I was all the way at the tub so I put my arm out so I could draw her close.

"Remember the time you said you could smell nail polish in my room?  Well I lied about not using it...and I used it (totally losing it now)....

"Julia, what did you paint?!" panic was in my voice because in less than two weeks we leave this home and I was starting to freak out about nail polish on the wood floor or walls...

"My American Girl Doll!!!!" (bucket of tears)

Ok, so this was my moment to either flip out, discipline her, ground her, start lecturing about honesty, and the fact that American Girl dolls are a million dollars and not to be ruined with scissors, water, or nail polish impulses!

But for some reason, I didn't.  (This was God.  No pats on the back here)  I was actually so relieved it wasn't on the house or her furniture.  I just hugged her and said how proud of her I was that she told me the truth.  And then I said, go bring me and show me the doll.

So as she left the bathroom and as I let the water out of the tub and finished up Micah's bath I knew I wasn't going to punish her.  I knew that in my heart of hearts she was dreadfully sorry, and that it was probably torture for her (a first born) to admit such a failure.  Especially when American Girl Dolls are our thing and we really try to take extra special care of all of them.  And I tell her all the time if she doesn't take care of the ones she has she will not be getting a new one at Christmas or for her birthday.

Of all the dolls she painted the nails on, it was her Bitty Baby...the one Grandma Judy got her.  And actually she did an amazing job!!! I even told her that.  

"Julia, you were so neat.  Please don't ever do this again, but you actually did a great job on her."

"I just wanted her to have the same nails as me.  I won't mom."

So for the rest of the night this girl was so proud of herself for telling me the truth.  During her bath time she just kept talking about it.

"Mom, I was just going to tell Dad, so I wouldn't have to tell you, but I knew that you are in charge of my American Girl Dolls (where did she get that from?) and that God really wanted me to tell you the truth..." and on and on she went.  I could tell it was like a turning point for her.

After bath time she even told Mark the whole story.  Then she asked Mark, did you ever lie to mom before mark?

"Nope, I just tell her the truth." He stated very matter-of-factly and proudly.

"Yea, you do tell the truth." Julia said (almost in a sad way, like, man, why can't I be more like that).

When John came home, and she told him, his reaction was very different than mine (we hadn't discussed it and I think he was shocked and appalled that she would "ruin" her doll...although he didn't see how good she did it).  He gave her a bit of a lecture and she goes...

"Dad! You weren't even proud of me that I told the truth!  You weren't supposed to be mad!"  To which I totally stayed out of that one because I felt like those two needed to talk it out.  John just told her that he was sad she lied to me.  I could tell she felt really bad about it still.   But I thought it was good for her to see the different reactions, because when we do something wrong it affects all different people in different ways.  And that's a good lesson for her to learn too.

Our first American Girl tea party in NYC (I was pregnant with Micah)

I have always wanted to be a safe person for Julia to come to.  Sometimes I feel like I am too hard on her because she's the oldest, because she is a girl, because of my pride, because I want her to be the best she can be...and tonight I just let her feel comfortable to be vulnerable and mess up and I just let her know it was okay and that i still loved her.  After all, it was just a doll, (even though it was an expensive one) and yes, she did lie about the nail polish smell but the fact that she confessed, knew it was wrong, felt God tugging at her heart to apologize and did, I really felt that it was a great moment for us.  I hope she always feels she can come to me with her failures and know that I will love her no matter what.  

So, that was our evening.  That was our "mother/daughter defining moment"...I hope I did okay.

That's the difficult part of parenting, you know?  You wonder, which battles should be fought?  Which talks should be had, and when is the right moment.  To me, this just felt right.

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

I could see how relieved she was to get the truth out.  And it felt good to watch her be so grown up and own her mistake.

Julia's 5th birthday in NYC at American Girl Doll

Discouraging News At The Dentist

The Tiny Cavity

I didn't over prep the kids at all.  I told the kids over the weekend that this week they had their 6 month check up at the dentist.  I am always most concerned with Mark's response (5 years old) because he is the most nervous/cautious when it comes to doctors.  But at our last visit he did great and this time the mention of the dentist was no big deal.

We headed to Old Bridge, Kidzdent, literally the best place for pediatric dentistry.  My husband and sister in law used to go to this place and they still have fond memories.  In hindsight I probably should have gotten a sitter for Micah.  The big kids both did amazing and they even got their teeth X-rays done with no problem, but after 45 minutes Micah was D.O.N.E. with being there.  It was also my fault for not bringing in snacks and a carriage but you know what? I can't do it all, all the time and sometimes these kids have to learn to just behave!

Super nice hygenist!

What I like about the visit was that both big kids were done at the same time(first part: cleaning, second part: X-rays).   What I didn't like was that the actual dentist who was going to do the checking of the teeth (the third part of the visit) was talking in the kitchen area of the office and hamming it up with the hygienists while I was carrying a crying baby and waiting for him to hurry up.  I think the hygienists saw my frustration and finally got his attention and then he finally saw both Julia and Mark.

This is when he spotted the tiny dark spot on one of Julia's back molars. (sniff sniff)  We had stopped eating fruit snacks for 6 months to avoid this!  He said it was super small but that he would have to fill it at our next appointment.  My poor baby!
The hygienest gave me a list of things to avoid with the kids:

Cavity Causing Foods/Snacks

1. Gummy Candy

2. Raisins

3. Orange Juice

4. Juice boxes

5. Craisins

Our Game Plan

* After we get settled in our house in 2 weeks and after Miss Amelia is born we will visit the dentist in Sept. for the filling and sealants.

* The kids will no longer be allowed to have candy or gum.  At.  All.  I already texted the grandmas and aunts about this.  I need everyone on the same team.

* John and I will not be buying any more juice boxes at Costco or Grocery Stores.  We will only give the kids water or milk.  And Orange Juice will only be at breakfast on Saturdays when we have pancakes and eggs.  I will not give them OJ every morning.

* No more raisins or Craisins in our oatmeal or salads... I think this makes me the most sad.

* No more sweets at the bank or cleaners.  Everyone loves these kids and is always doling out sugar.  I have to put a stop to this.

Lord willing at our next 6 month check up in March we will have much better news!

Childlike Faith

Angels are Rejoicing!

We were really blessed to be able to attend two Vacation Bible Schools these past 2 weeks.  My own VBS at Jacobs Well, and a VBS at Crossroads Assembly of God church in Englishtown (it's where we go to MOPS during the school year).  The benefit of VBS is for 3 hours your child is hearing God's word from different teachers, learning Bible verses, making crafts pertaining to the lesson, meeting new friends, and singing song praising the Lord.

Two weeks of VBS back to back means that you have heard a lot about Jesus and chances are your teacher has brought up how you can really know Jesus more, have a relationship with Him and follow Him each day.

At the beginning of this week when John was putting the kids to bed Mark started to ask him questions about heaven and following Jesus.  But Mark wasn't ready to make any commitment and John didn't want to push the envelope.

By Friday, on the way to the last day of VBS (our drive is about 25 minutes) Mark brought it up with me.  "Mom how can I get to heaven?  I want to follow Jesus."  These were his exact words.  I wanted to pull the car over right then and pray with him but when I started to answer his question and explain it to him he got shy and said he would do it later before bed time.

Once we pulled into the parking lot I had him come up to the front seat and talk with me.  I told him how proud I was of him and that he was making a huge decision to follow Jesus.  I told him that I would pray with him right now and help him if he wanted me to.  "No, I will just pray it in my heart."  I said, "Mark, I think it would be best to pray it out loud so we know for sure you made this decision and so you know for a fact that you prayed this way today."  I just felt like it was time to seize the moment.  I do think he was a bit shy because Julia was in the car, but he was really brave and prayed his own prayer (he would NOT let me help him, which I was glad he wanted to talk to God on his own).

I really wanted to burst into tears of joy at this point but I knew he'd be like, "MOM!!!" (aka don't embarrass me).  I have always wanted my kids to initiate this talk.  We talk about making good choices, honoring God, and sin, and heaven and hell a lot.  Julia made this decision at 3 1/2 years old but then again she has always asked questions above her age level and she pushes things.  Mark is more of a laid back kid and he just takes it all in.  Sometimes I don't know what he is thinking, whereas Julia lets it all out.

I've always prayed that my kids would come to faith at a young age.  So have many of my friends and family for my kids.  I am so very thankful that this happened.  I feel like now we can continue talking more about how to obey and honor God with our life especially since now they both WANT to do so.  

After we prayed Mark looked at me and goes, "Mom, now all I have to do is follow Jesus, right?"  How simple is that?!  The child like faith and trust is just astounding.  I think we adults make it way to complicated when really salvation isn't.  The ABC's of salvation:

A. Admit that you are a sinner in need of God.
B. Believe that Jesus Christ died and rose again for your sins.

C. Confess Jesus Christ as Lord of your life.

Marky, on August 1, 2014, you asked to be a follower of Jesus!  I'm so proud of you buddy!  Praying that you continue to grow stronger in Him, in love and in humility buddy.  You are such a great little guy!

Mommy Camp

Old Bridge Public Library

Making The Most of Summer

I have decided to not start school until after Amelia is born and possibly after Labor Day weekend.  I was going to start August 3rd and get a head start before the baby came but we packed all my homeschool things up and until we are settled into our new home I really can't even think about school.  I guess that is the beauty of homeschool.

So, that leaves the rest of August to keep the kids busy.   This week is our last week of a Vacation Bible School so our next full open week of nothing starts next week and you know me--we will not be doing nothing...even if I am 9 months pregnant these kids will have structure and fun and things to do to keep them happy and busy.

I have decided to structure our days as following since Micah still takes a nap and since I really can't be out all day in the heat this pregnant.

Activity 1

Outing

Activity 2

Lunch

Break

Activity 3

Dinner

Bath

Books

This is the only way I will survive the next few weeks before we move and before Amelia comes.  Honestly all I want to do is lay in bed and drink water and eat grapes, but since I can't we must press on and be productive with our time.

Activity 1 will most likely be something like reading a few books, coloring, or writing in our summer journal.

Outing time will consist of going to a park while it's still cool out, going to the library for story/play time, meeting up with friends at the pool, or running errands.

Activity 2 is usually back yard time because there are no mosquitoes out yet and the kids ride bikes and play while I fix lunch.

After lunch we all usually head downstairs to watch a short movie or we have Drop Everything and Read Time.

Activity 3 is going to be artsy: craft time, painting, play dough, or possibly baking!

Then the kids will wash hands, set the table and we will eat dinner.

This is usually when I beg/text John to hurry home.  We then do bath time/showers and all the kids read on their beds til dad gets home.

It's called Mommy Camp.  We all do variations of it.  We keep our kids busy and occupied while enjoying their company.