Clean

Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God; restore within me a sense of being brand new."

Why do we have to read the Bible?  What if we can't remember all the things we read?  What if we can't pronounce all the books of the Bible, all of the places, all of the names?  Why do we have to take time each day to read it?  What difference does it really make?

John and I sometimes do church at home on Sundays with the kids.  We take out all the kids instruments, the guitar, the tambourine, the triangle, the maracas (Amelia's personal favorite) and we sing our favorite worship songs and dig into the Word.  It isn't long.  In fact sometimes it is only 15-30 minutes.  And part of that time is asking Micah to sit still and Mia to be quiet, and Julia to put the guitar down, and for Mark to stop spinning on his head...but we are all together for one purpose and that is to worship, pray, and learn more about God.

This particular Sunday (John doesn't know I am writing this--I promise) John out did himself with getting all the kids ready, and he sat them all on a blue yoga mat (and they stayed there!) and he got Micah and Mia peanut butter on a spoon and low and behold we were actually able to read from the Bible and really answer some questions.  We were reading in the book of Colossians.

Our verse of focus was on Colossians 3:2 "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth."

John gave this awesome analogy and he didn't make it up but he heard it somewhere and it stuck with me and the kids and was completely perfect.  I started to tear up even.  He brought up the point that many people ask, "Why do we have to read the Bible?"  There is so much in the book.  There is so much information.  Why do we have to take the time to read something that is so hard to understand sometimes?  And John heard of a man telling a young boy to take a basket and fill it up with water and come back to me.  The boy obeyed.  He went to a nearby well filled up the basket (which was of course filled with holes) and went back to the man.  

But every time he filled the basket with water by the time he brought it back the basket was empty.  But the man kept telling him, "Go fill it again."  So the boy finally said, "Why do I have to keep filling up the basket if by the time I bring it to you it is empty?"  The man said that many times we feel like what we are doing or reading makes no difference, but look at the basket now...how does it look?  "Clean," the boy replied.  Well, that is why we read the Bible.  He cleans our hearts from the inside and that changes us.  That is what makes us different.  We may not be able to memorize the whole Bible, or remember all the facts, all the places, all the names, but every time we open up God's word we can be sure that He will use it to clean us, and change us and that will make every difference.   

Maybe that is a silly analogy to you, but I needed to hear that message.  I needed to hear that every time I spend my time reading the Word and meditating on a verse, or praying, or doing what I know is right, it does matter.  Because sometimes it can feel like maybe it doesn't matter.  It can feel like it's just something else we HAVE to do or something else to check off on a list.

I am thankful for that message of being clean, and I love that God can make all things new.  

Happy New Year.

Voice of Wisdom

Biblical Womanhood

The women here at Jacob's Well have been talking about Biblical Womanhood.  We've used our retreat last April, Rooted, and the last few gatherings to discuss how we as women have the following  roles: helper, life-giver, nurturer, image-bearer, and voice of wisdom.  Tonight our focus will be on the identity of voice of wisdom.

Proverbs 8: 1-11 says
Does not wisdom call out?    Does not understanding raise her voice?2 At the highest point along the way,    where the paths meet, she takes her stand;3 beside the gate leading into the city,    at the entrance, she cries aloud:4 “To you, O people, I call out;    I raise my voice to all mankind.5 You who are simple, gain prudence;    you who are foolish, set your hearts on it.[a]6 Listen, for I have trustworthy things to say;    I open my lips to speak what is right.7 My mouth speaks what is true,    for my lips detest wickedness.8 All the words of my mouth are just;    none of them is crooked or perverse.9 To the discerning all of them are right;    they are upright to those who have found knowledge.10 Choose my instruction instead of silver,    knowledge rather than choice gold,11 for wisdom is more precious than rubies,    and nothing you desire can compare with her.

As I thought about this voice of wisdom I thought about who in my life I look up to and admire and who do I feel are wise women.  I thought about how they are patient, calm under stress, good listeners, encouraging, thoughtful, speak with kindness, how they are disciplined and they have an inner strength that shine through.

Then I thought about myself and I said, Wow, I am a hot mess!  I don't feel like a woman who possesses this voice of wisdom!  I'm not very patient, I freak out under stress, I'd rather talk than listen, and I used to be disciplined, thoughtful, encouraging and kind, but then I had 4 kids and I don't feel I'm that kind, sweet girl anymore!

In fact I often tell my husband, "I used to be a nice person!" to which we laugh and realize just how difficult life has been the past 8 years with kids.

So maybe I am being too hard on myself but I wonder if any of you out there feel like you are a hot mess at times.  I think it is good to come together with a safe group of christian sisters and admit we all have strengths and weaknesses and that we need each other to spur each other on and share our stories, and goals and ideas with.  How do we become a woman who has a voice of wisdom?  It's simple.  We spend a whole lot of time with Jesus.  Through bible reading, and prayer, God gives us wisdom, discernment, strength, love, patience, peace, the list goes on and on. 

Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.."

 The hard part about reading God's word and praying more is committing to it.  We all know we need to read the Bible more.  We all know we need to pray more, but we are just  so busy all of the time.  And if you are anything like me, squeezing in 20 extra minutes of Bible study and prayer when your life/schedule is already completely full is a huge balancing act.  But how many of you have ever regretted spending more time in the word?  Have you ever come away from a bible study or your quiet time and thought "Now that was completely a waste of time?" Nope, me neither.

For the past 8 months John and I have been mentoring/counseling a newly engaged couple.  (I used to babysit Becky Lambertson when she was little and the fact that she even asked John and I to be her mentors was a huge honor) It has been the highlight of my month.  Meeting with them on Friday nights, praying with them, sharing our love story with them has brought back so many amazing memories of 14 years ago when John and I got engaged.  It helps me to remember my love story and it is so cool to see their love story grow and unfold before our eyes.  Do you think about the time you first became a believer and miss the way you used to spend time with your Savior?  Were you on fire for the lover of your soul?  Are you on fire now?  Did you enjoy reading the Bible and praying?  How is that now?  Does it sometimes feel like a chore?  

My 8 year old daughter and I are starting to read through the bible together each day.  We are doing it chronologically so we started with Genesis and then went to Job.  We read about 3-4 chapters a day.  It will be extremely exciting next January to be able to say we read through the whole Bible.  It has brought up so many great talks between us.  She asks such great questions.  Just the other day in the car on the ride home from church she was asking us how did people in the olden days read the Bible when the Bible was first written.  John explained that it was first written on scrolls and then how many people couldn't own one because they were so expensive and precious that they would go to synagogue and memorize what the rabbi spoke since they couldn't take it home with them.  How blessed are we that we can carry our Bibles back and forth wherever we go? Many of us own several different Bibles, study Bibles, and even different translations.

We read God's word because we need him.  We pray because we love Him.  This world is so broken.  We have so many struggles.  Sin is everywhere.  We need God's perspective constantly.  We need His words to uplift us.  We need hope! We need encouragement.  We need to remember the truths that are in His Word. 

Do you eat one meal a day and then hope that that meal will last you for the next week or so?  Or do you eat everyday because your body needs the nourishment?  Of course we eat everyday!  How silly to suggest we could last on one meal for a week or so.  Same with how much we need his word and yet how often do we run on empty?  How can we expect to pour wisdom into the lives of others when we may be empty?

One of my favorite speakers, Pastor Steven Foster, who used to teach at Sayre Woods Bible Church in Old Bridge gave a wonderful illustration of how when we meet with God it is as if we are going to a special room in our home like let's say an attic or a loft.  That is our private place to read the Bible and pray and be with Him.  Well, when we get to busy to meet with God in our special place He is still there waiting for us, wanting to be with us, He isn't angry at us, He is just there, patiently waiting, loving us and willing us to draw near to Him so that we can be filled.  That time with God is so sacred because that is when God speaks to us.  He gives us the wisdom we need for the day so that we in turn can then pour out and give our absolute best to others.  Instead of being impatient He gives us the strength to be patient.  Instead of being angry, He helps us to forgive and show love.  Instead of being arrogant and bossy he humbles us and teaches us meekness.

As a mom I am constantly giving to the people in my home.  I make meals, I clean sinks, I wash the dishes, I bathe little hands and feet, I change diapers, I do laundry, I teach reading, and writing, and grammar, I pour out all day long.  I speak words into my children's lives to honor God, to be kind, to share, I speak words of affirmation my husband when he is at work.  When friends reach out to me online, on the phone I give advice, and encouragement.  How do I do this?  How do we do this day in and day out with graciousness?  How do we do this with voices of wisdom?  We can only give and pour out what God has given and taught us.  This is what inspires and encourages me to meet with God.  I want to be a woman that has a voice of wisdom.  I want my children and husband to be blessed.  I want to encourage my friends and family members.

Proverbs 9: 10-11 says The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.  For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you, if you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff you will bear it alone."

Proverbs 31: 26-30 "says she opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.  Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

All the glory goes to Jesus.  When we are that voice of wisdom we honor and glorify a God who changes us and renews us by His word.  And the outside world can tell that we are somehow different!  They can see the light in us which is really Jesus!  When we spend time with him he helps us to be more like his perfect son Jesus.  None of us are good on our own merit.  It is all because of a mighty and gracious God who is always there.  He is patiently loving and waiting for us to meet with Him.

Mary, Mary Quite Ordinary?

Mary, Mary, Quite Extraordinary

There are so many questions I would like to ask Mary.  When I think of all she went through being the mother of Christ, the sacrifices she made, the ridicule and shame she faced being pregnant and not yet married, the glares and questions, and then her own inner voice causing her to doubt or question what was about to happen to her.  I wonder how she did it.  

Motherhood is no easy task.  And here this young girl from Galilee was chosen to be Jesus mother.  Just an ordinary, every day girl from a normal little town.  It baffles me that God didn't choose a woman from an upscale home, someone with wealth, someone with prestige, someone with experience.  God always blows my mind when he chooses the ordinary.  It is just His way of shining his glory in the midst of the every day ordinary human and doing something unexpected.

When an angel came to Mary and called her "favored one," and said "the Lord is with you"...that also amazes me.  The fact that God called her favored.  What was his favorite part of her I wonder?  Does He call us favored?  What was so special about her? And then that the angel was sure to add: "the Lord is with you."  God is constantly reminding us of His presence.  He is all around us in everything.  It can be in simple things like looking at your own hands and seeing the veins and thinking of the process of our circulatory system and how He designed all of our body systems.  Or even when you watch a sunrise or sunset and you see the beauty in nature, or the power of the waves on the shore.  I am constantly reminded of Him when I hold my newborn.  She is so small, and needy, and perfect and I think of how amazing it is that God knew her before she was born, that He knows how many hairs are on our heads, that he knew our names.  And to know that that same God of the universe cares about us...and is always with us...knowing that He loves us is mind blowing.

He is always with us.  It goes against everything society says about us.  We aren't favored unless we are beautiful, wealthy or brilliant.  And here, God chose a young, poor girl, who honored Him, and He called her "favored".  So basically, she was special, because God said so.  She had value because He created her for a purpose.  She was favored not because of what she could offer but because of who made her and because of His plan for her life.

The angel goes on to tell her that "you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the most High."  She finds out that she is having a baby while she isn't even married.  Her question to the angel is..."How can this be since I am a virgin?" I love the simplicity of Mary's question...How is this even possible?  And then I think of verse 37 "for with God nothing will be impossible."  So often I think we get stuck in the thought of the impossible.  We can't even wrap our brains around how God works, how He can make tough situations good, or how He can change a simple heart of stone to a heart of flesh.

Mary was so unselfish.  She didn't protest or tell God, "Look this isn't in my plan! I am not ready to have a baby!"  How did she know that God's plan was even bigger than she could imagine?  How did she know to just accept it and move forward without fear?  How was she able to be the Mother of Jesus and have the wisdom to raise the Son of God?  Wasn't she overwhelmed with the thought of all that was expected of her?  She simply says, "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." 

That was it.  She listened.  She trusted.  And she moved forward in obedience.  Mary was ordinary, yes, but she was willing.  She was obedient to God's plan and His calling on her life, even though it would be difficult.  And she praised and glorified His name.  

So often I feel very stuck in this life.  The days are long and hard and extremely lonely as a stay at home mom of 4 kids.  There are so many tasks before me and it is easy to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and hopeless.  But then I am reminded of my purpose.  I am reminded that I am not alone (God is always with me) and I don't need to be afraid (or worry).  I am still in awe of this young girl Mary, Jesus' mother.  She was pretty amazing. 

 "My soul magnifies the Lord.  And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.  For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant; for behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed.  For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.  And his mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation." Luke 1: 46-50

**********************
Questions to think about...

1. Mary made major sacrifices to be the mother of Jesus.  It was a huge calling.  What sacrifices does God ask of us daily? or personally? 

2. Mary faced the shame/ridicule of being pregnant before being married...do you ever face shame/ridicule to be a follower of Jesus, what is your response?

3. Mary trusted God so easily.  Do you find it easy/difficult to trust?

Our 4 treasures

Listening to God speak

1 Samuel 3

8 A third time the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

I have been out of the habit of reading the Bible every morning and I really have missed it.  It has been so chaotic and busy these last 5 weeks and I am so happy to finally, finally able to get back into a routine and schedule.  I used to be able to read at the kitchen table while the kids ate breakfast.  The new norm now is I break out my lap top and read online whenever I get a few seconds with hands free.

A few nights ago I started to read 1 Samuel because I remembered how awesome God answered Hannah's prayer by giving her a son after being barren for so long.  She wanted a child so badly.  I look at my life these past 11 years and see how God was preparing John and I all along for this family of 4 little ones.

*God was faithful to provide us both with careers we loved

*God was gracious to allow us to travel before the kids came

*God was merciful to bless us with 3 amazing homes...each one meeting our current needs of the time

*God was loving to allow me to stay at home and raise our children while relying on one income

I love this particular chapter in 1 Samuel because Samuel heard God's voice in the night and thought Eli was calling him.  Each time he got up to ask Eli what he wanted.  Finally the third time, Eli realized that Samuel was probably hearing God's voice and didn't know it.  So Samuel goes back to bed hears God's voice and quickly responds...."Speak for your servant is listening."

I love that he knew he was God's servant.  First of all, I can clutter my own mind with so much "stuff" (my to do lists, my worries, my wants, my needs, my concerns) that I can barely hear the quiet voice of God calling me.  Can anyone else relate?  I get so busy in "survival mode" that I forget my true purpose as God's servant.  I forget all that He has done for me.  I worry about things that I should know God will handle.  

Samuel was young, and obedient and quick to listen to God's voice.  He knew who he belonged to.  He knew what his purpose was, and he was so ready and willing to do whatever God wanted him to do.

I want to be like that.

So today, I give God my day.  I open up my ears for his voice.  I want to be quick to listen and quick to respond.  

People

Restless Part 5

This is the Bible study my MOPS group is doing over the summer.  Please feel free to catch up and read the last few posts on the chapters in the book.

Chapter 1 Intro

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 Suffering

Chapter 4 Places

Main Point: Pick Imperfect People, Love Them, Be Intentional, Don't Leave Them

This week's study was all about the business of people.  It was all about how we are all imperfect.  Jennie reminded us in the video (we watch a video clip each week before we review the notes/homework) the importance of grace and forgiveness in our relationships with people.  

She reminded us that loving people gets messy.  But that the beauty of relationships, the beauty of dealing with people and being intentional about pursuing people is that all of us are eternal beings.  Sometimes I think we forget that.  We forget the value of each person.  We forget the value of each soul.  Maybe you don't, but I definitely do.  In fact Jennie (and I totally agreed) brought up how the minute people don't meet our standards, or drain us, or cause us pain we tend to want leave them.

I can relate to that feeling.  In fact, I remember a sermon Pastor Steve gave once about difficult people.  He said in this world there are two types of people: soft blanket people (I love you guys) and sand paper people (ummm, you guys are rough), and he talked about how we all love the soft blanket people but that God uses the sand paper people in our lives to smooth our own "rough edges" and we may all think we are blanket people, but to somebody else, guess what...you might be sand paper!

The point is, no matter what type of personality you have, we were all created by God and we are all valuable and we all NEED each other.

I love how Jennie constantly talked about in the chapter about our need to pursue people and be intentional about it.  I find this rather easy because I really enjoy people, I can make friends easily, and I can start a conversation just about anywhere (at the grocery store, in line at the post office, at the park, etc.).  But I struggle with the fact that not everyone else may have my list of needs or standards in a friendship.  It's hard for me to keep pursuing someone who I feel does not reciprocate in the same way.  I often feel like I am the only one putting in all the effort into the friendship and then I give up or pull back if I feel the other person is not doing their part.  Do you find you are this way too?  It's definitely a flaw on my part because we are called to love others unconditionally.  And Jennie talks about this constantly in this chapter.  We are called to pursue and love others and not to leave them no matter how they treat us.

Look at the life of Joseph in Genesis 41-45.  Look at the life of Jesus in the 4 books of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John).  Joseph displayed such loyalty, respect, kindness, and compassion for people, even though he was treated so unfairly by so many.  It was not "all about him" it was all about loving others.  Joseph had care and concern for all those in authority over him and in the end his hard work was blessed and prospered and he preserved life for countless people.  All because he knew how to love people.

If I was Joseph...and my brothers through me in the pit, sold me into slavery, and then years later came to me for food and help, I think I might be bitter.  But Joseph never displayed bitterness.  He knew that God allowed that suffering in his life to preserve life for others.  He wasn't angry or bitter.  He allowed God to heal his hurts and to forgive.  And in his healing, he was able to be a blessing to countless others.

Mark 12:28-34 Our First and Second Callings as Followers of Jesus:

1. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength

2. Love your neighbor as yourself

Jennie talks about how loving people is a great investment of our time.  She asks...

1. Who do you need?

2. Who are your mission minded, like minded friends?

3. Who are the people who make you love God more?

4. Who can you safely share your soul with?

5. Who are wiser mentors you could pursue?

6. Who needs you?

Obviously we all need God!

But who are the people that need you?  Are you using your life and giving your love to people around you that need you?  And Jennie was not talking about our spouse and children (obviously they need us!) she was talking about people we come in contact with every day that we may need to be more intentional about and look into their eyes, and love them for the sake of loving them.

One thing I will not forget about this study is that we all need grace, we all need God, and we all need love.  I really want to do better at loving those around me and really being intentional about "seeing" people...really "listening" and really "loving" people unconditionally. 

Jennie ends the chapter by asking:

Who needs you?  Who needs God? Who needs hope?

Restless Part 4: Wherever you are, be all there

What are your "places"?

This chapter came at the PERFECT time for me personally.  God is so cool like that!  He always has great timing.  It seems that whenever you are reading the Bible, or doing a devotional study with your group there is something that is so relevant to what you are going through.

We are still studying the life of Joseph.  We are digging deep to find out how Joseph was able to be so darn awesome when he had such awful circumstances!  He was hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, and started working for Potiphar, then falsely accused of inappropriate behavior with Potiphar's wife and thrown in prison for 10 years.

It was the prison part that got me.  How could God possibly use one of his people in PRISON for crying out loud?!  How does an innocent man in prison not grow bitter after 10 years!!!  How was Joseph able to prosper in PRISON?  How did he find favor in PRISON?  How was he so willing to use his god-given gifts in PRISON? (remember when he told the butler and the baker what their dreams meant?)

If I was Joseph and I was thrown into prison for 10 years I'm pretty sure I would not have found favor  with the guards and inn keepers.  I'm pretty sure there would be some major sulking and pouting and feeling sorry for myself.  How did Joseph know that PRISON was one of his "places?"

Jennie Allen had us read MATTHEW 28:16-20

The Great Commission

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said,“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

In this passage God gives us our job description:  This is in my own words

1. Worship God with your life

2. Make disciples of all nations (plant seeds in the lives of the people you meet)

3. Baptize them (encourage your friends, family, and people you come in contact with to be "all in" for Christ

4. Teach them to observe all things that he has commanded us (exhort others and remind them of his goodness and what he expects of us)

So basically our main job is to worship God with our lives and to plant seeds all along the way with the people we meet by sharing the greatness of who He is.  People can only see how great God is in your own personal life by the way you surrender your life to him.

Jim Elliot, the great martyr missionary said, "wherever you are, be all there!"  I know exactly what this means.  Wherever God has placed you currently do it to the best of your ability using 100 percent of your gifts and talents for the glory of God.

So, what are your places?  And by places I mean where is God using you to bring glory to himself and shine for him?  It could be your neighborhood, your workplace, your home, the gym you work out in, etc.

My "places":

My home

My blog

The grocery store

The post office

The bank

The cleaners

My homeschool group

My church

My library

My Mops group

These are my places because:

This is where I invest the most time, where I shine and use my gifts, the places I come in contact with the same people on a daily basis.  These are the places I want to be a blessing.  God has led me to these places again and again and I am doing my best to smile, be sweet, plant seeds, and be a blessing, and hopefully be able to share my faith.  What is more important than that?  I want to have an eternal perspective and be focused on an eternal purpose.

Jennie calls us to cast a vision for each of our "places".  She asks:  How might God want you to be intentional like Joseph in each place?

Then she called us to Dream, Deal, and Draw about our places (I love the homework she gives us because she really pushes us and challenges us beyond the pages of the bible and gets right into our hearts and faces.

In our group discussion today we talked about how sometimes fear keeps us from sharing our faith.  We talked about how sometimes we don't trust God enough to catch us, provide for us, or protect us when we are in scary "places".  Sometimes the place that God allows us to be in is just like in Joseph's case....sometimes it is a place we do not want to be in but we are kind of stuck there because of circumstances that we cannot control.  Our attitude and behavior is what we can control.  We discussed how impressed we were with Joseph and how even though his Place was not ideal he still used his gifts and talents and prospered there all because he loved God and wanted to honor Him.

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D?

Psalm 121

My Help Comes from the Lord
A Song of Ascents.

121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.

I have been so stressed with our move, the packing, and the baby, that all I can really do right now is focus on the Lord...I guess that's the best place to be.  I feel like everything is caving in on me and the  weight of the world is on my shoulders.  I know my help comes from the Lord.  I am so thankful to know it in my head...I just need it to get to my heart.

Restless Part 3

Suffering

"Out of our pain we could heal our world."--Jennie Allen

Well ladies, this was one of the hardest chapters to get through and yet the I think it brought our group so much closer together as we shared our stories of suffering.

It's not a proper bible study until someone cries!!! And I think we were all balling today.  It was good for the soul and I could see God knitting our group closer together.  Our group talks are totally confidential so I am only going to share what the book study talked about.

We are still studying the life of Joseph in Genesis chapter 37-39...in these chapters Joseph's brothers plot to kill him.  Can you imagine being so jealous of one of your siblings that your jealousy turned to hatred and then turned to wanting to murder them?  Thank goodness for Reuben, the only brother that stopped the murder of Joseph...instead the brothers throw him into a pit, sell him into slavery, and lie to their father Jacob and tell him that Joseph was killed by wild animals.

What stood out to me in those chapters was that the favoritism of a parent can cause a lot of damage to the whole family dynamic.  We also saw that Reuben took the time to speak up for his brother and spared Joseph's life.  Joseph's brother's meant to harm him, but God allowed Joseph to be thrown in the pit, to be sold into slavery to work in Potiphar's home, and to be put in prison for being falsely accused of sleeping with Potiphar's wife.  Wherever Joseph was put...God prospered him....God met his needs....and other's around him saw something special in him.  He found favor with all the men he met.  Joseph's brothers meant to harm him but God used his suffering for good.

What did people see in Joseph during these times that made him stand out?

Did he complain during his struggle?

Did he whine?

Did he put up a fight?

Was he humble?

Was he confident that God would deliver him?

Did he have a positive attitude during his suffering?

Was he diligent in his work?

How do we respond in our suffering?

Do we let it define us?

Do we complain, fuss, whine, pout?

Do we use the pain for God's glory?

Do we shine wherever he puts us?

Are we able to see the suffering as part of God's glorious plan?

Here is the world.  Beautiful and terrible things will happen.  Don't be afraid.--Frederick Buechner

Many of you know that I am only about 6-8 weeks out before our 4th baby is due.  I've been reading countless birth books because I am fearful this time around about the pain I will face during labor.  My last 3 deliveries were all natural (one was a water birth) no interventions, no epidurals, no pain meds. But my last labor was 12 hours long and Micah was 9.2lbs.  A very long labor, and a very big baby = a very frustrated mother.  I wanted that pain and the suffering over.  I kept looking at the clock and kept trying to be in control.  I kept asking...why is it taking so long? I was so distracted by the pain and the suffering and I was so focused on being in control that I forgot rule number 1 in birth...surrender.

The quicker you surrender to the pain....the quicker you accept the suffering....you find you can bear it.  You find strength to let go and surrender and you let God and your body take over and do what they are made to do.  Isn't that so hard?  To surrender to the pain?  To realize it is not about you?  To see that there is a bigger picture and perspective at hand?  To see the purpose of the pain.  And then you meet your baby...and the pain and suffering is forgotten.

God is able to take our pain, and our suffering and bright forth something beautiful if we will let Him be in control.  He needs to be our all in all.  He needs to complete us and fill us.

Bless the Lord O my soul,

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes... 

 Why God May Let us Suffer

1. Jesus is best known through suffering.

2. We get stronger.

3. We hurt for heaven.

4. Our lives could leave a mark.

So maybe the suffering we have gone through in our lives whether it be a divorce, loss of a job, death of a loved one, a sickness, a betrayal...whatever we have gone through, perhaps God can use that in our life to bless others and bring glory to God.  Maybe our story can uplift someone else, maybe it makes us stronger to help others and bring people closer to God.  Who knows what God can do!?

Restless Week 2

Study by Jennie Allen

Click here for the intro.

Week 2

Words cannot express how much I am loving this Bible study with my mops friends.  Our group grows every week and this week it was so nice to have Cassie join us!

We started our time with Jennie Allen's video and what I like about her is her passion for God and the Bible.  She talked all about God's story and the men and women he used in His story: Abraham, Moses, David, the prophets, and how Christ entered the scene and how after Jesus died and rose again the disciples and then US.  We are all part of God's story and soon He is coming back for us!  How cool is that?!  And then she talked about how God used dreams and visions in the lives of his people so they would live out their story...the story He has planned for all of us...and there again she dropped the DREAM word and talked about the importance of dreaming.  She is definitely setting up the life of Joseph (the main person we will be studying in this book).

Hebrews 10:36-37

For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: For yet a little, while and He who is coming will come and will not tarry.

We all need endurance to run the race before us.  And God wants us to dream big.  Because when we dream we have hope and confidence that not only is He coming back but that we have a purpose and a huge part in HIS Awesome Story!

After the video we all went over our homework notes pages 36-54.  We discussed how the men and women in Hebrews 11 lived out their faith.  We talked about Moses, Abraham, Noah, Rahab, etc.  All of this regular people played HUGE parts in God's story.  Did you ever think to yourself, how they heck did they do it?  Faith and obedience! They believed God was real and they obeyed what He told them to do...it didn't matter if they were just regular common folk who made mistakes.  Look at Rahab!!! She was a prostitute and yet she believed in God enough to help those men and be part of God's story.  God can use anyone.  He does.  Everyday.  How awesome is that?  It's not about us...it's all about HIM.

We discussed questions like: 

What is the driving force of your life?

Who is God?

What does He want for me?

What are some mixed motives you need to deal with?

Have your motives ever stopped you from doing something you wanted to do for God?

Then we took time to share our own stories.  And we took time to pray.  And God, in his awesomeness, knitted our hearts closer together.  Like he always does.  And faith was born.  And friendships deepened.  And we left encouraged.  We prayed for our sisters who couldn't be there and we thanked God for all that He continues to do in our life.  How we are being shaped and molded by His great story.  

Restless

Because You Were Made For More...

For the next 8 weeks me and about 10 other women will be doing this Bible Study together.  I am so thankful for Danielle and Tabitha spear heading this and leading this study so that through the summer we can stay connected and grounded in the Lord.

Too often I get so busy making life wonderful for my kids that I save Bible devotion time for the evening and then by then...I'm too tired to read and study His Word.

This study will be SO good for us!  It's every week and we have HOMEWORK!  I get so excited about homework...I know I am a nerd.  But homework is awesome.  And this book has such great thinking questions that really causes you to pause and reflect, and dare to dream about what God has for you.  One of the questions we answered as a group today are what are your top 3 dreams for yourself.  This made us all really think!  That was hard!  And aren't we lucky?  We have the luxury to dream.  We don't have to worry about food on the table or wondering where we will sleep at night or how we will get from here to there.  We are so stinkin blessed in this country to have the luxury to have dreams.

What are your top 3 dreams?

1. I'd love to get my doctorate in education some day.

2. I'd love to be a well known speaker or author for women's ministry. (And in some way use it to bless other moms or young women)

3. I really want to see my children come to Christ at young ages and impact our world for His glory.

My three kiddies: Julia 6, Mark 5, Micah now1

What is my purpose?

1. To honor God with my life

2. Submit and love my husband John

3. Raise my kids to love God and serve Him, teach them the Word

4. Be a blessing in my neighborhood/community

5. Be committed to my church family

The author talked about in the book that many times we get so tired of "running our marked race" that we fall to the side of the road and just become a bystander.  We get hurt in the race, we get tired, we get numb, we forget why we are running, we may forget our purpose.  As moms, we get so hung up in the mundane every day "mom tasks" like cleaning, diaper changing, and cooking we essentially forget to dream, forget our purpose and maybe even stop running our race.

The four starting places

1. Comfortable- busy, surviving, somewhat content

2. Thirsty- You are hurt and longing for more

3. Running Free- You feel purpose and running full speed ahead in obedience

4. At the starting line- do you know God? do you have a relationship with him?

All I can say is this study is going to be awesome!!! I am so excited to see what God has in store for all of us.  Please feel free to grab your own copy of the book and read and learn and study along with us.  I will be posting after each meeting some of the main points and my thoughts!

I'm excited to Dream again and see all that God is going to reveal to all of us.

The Stuffers: Do you build barriers or collect retaliation rocks?

Book Club Wednesday

Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst

Chapter 6: Stuffers

I have been reading this book by Lysa T. for a few months now and this current chapter I do not like one bit.  I don't like it because, well, it is me.

I have realized that if I want to make wise choices (in the midst of raw emotions) then I at least have to admit that I am a stuffer and that I need God to help me change the way I deal with my hurt.

I am just like Lysa in that, I am an encourager by nature.  I love to write cards, text my friends sweet things, leave cute notes for my hubby, anything to make the people that I care for and love smile.  I think this is why when someone gives me a negative comment, or vibe, or some form of discouragement, it cuts me to the core.  I go out of my way to be sensitive and say the right thing to others and when someone is flip with a comment or sarcastic deliberately, I just can't really deal to well.

Lysa says: "There are two types of stuffer reactions: stuffers who build barriers (definitely me) and those that who collect retaliation rocks" (definitely not me, at least I don't think so).

Lysa also gives a list for reasons why we stuff:

* I don't feel safe enough to confront this person.

* I don't have the energy or the time to get into a conflict right now.

* I don't know how to address the issue.

* I don't want to seem hypersensitive.

* I don't want to get rejected.

* I don't want to lose control.
* I don't want to make things worse, so I convince myself I can just let it go.

Guess which three reasons I use the most? I don't know how to address the issue, I don't want to get rejected, and I don't want to make things worse.

If you are a stuffer like me, which reasons do you favor?

Many times I honestly just don't want to make things worse, I think to myself, "Just forgive and forget and let it go, act like whatever happened or whatever was said, didn't really bother you."

But the thing is, I can't forget, I am like an elephant.  I remember everything and every detail.  Ask John, I can remember what I was wearing during the offense, how the person sounded, what they were wearing, their tone, their words, everything stays vivid in my mind.  I pray and ask God to help me forgive and forget but then I start thinking about it again and again and I replay and rehash the conversation in my mind.

ALL of this only makes me angrier...and more bitter.

You might think you are being the better Christian or the one taking the higher road by not saying anything, but honestly if you are just stuffing and building a barrier, the barrier will destroy the relationship and you will only be worse off and bitter.  I totally can relate to this.

Lysa says that the problem with stuffing is that it totally isn't fair to the other person because they know something is wrong but have no idea what it is because there is no healthy open communication.  So every interaction confuses them.  They know something is wrong but have no clue what it is.  Eventually, this relationship will shrivel up and die because it's been deprived of open communication, the life giving oxygen that fuels good relationships.

Yikes!

The sad thing is...sometimes I think the energy it takes to have good communication with our friends and family is so BIG and so MUCH effort that we just sweep issues under the rug hoping they will resolve themselves on their own.  But they never do, do they?

Lysa then goes on to talk about how in a healthy relationship instead of building barriers you set up boundaries.  You say things like, "If you continue to .... (hurt me in this way) ...I will be forced to ... (set up this boundary).

Setting up a boundary is honest transparency.  Setting up a barrier is just going to lead to isolation in the relationship.

Relationships are so tricky.  But I love the reminder that God gives us more than just a heart to use in processing life...He gives us a mind as well.  Therefore, as we really seek to do what God wants in our life, when we put Him first, when we are reading the Bible and asking Him to RENEW our mind, He can graciously help us to change the way we think, and help us to heal hurts and to set boundaries and not barriers.

It's a lot easier to shut people out and not deal with what we are feeling.  It takes a lot of bravery and courage to face our feelings, be transparent, and talk to the people we care about and work on our relationships.  And to me, it's worth the work and effort, even if it's hard.