And so, The Adventure Begins...

In Revelations 21: 5 it says…”Behold I am making all things new.  Write, for these words are faithful and true.”

God is in the business and beauty of making things new.  He molds us, changes us, stretches us and challenges us to newness.

The seasons change.  The weather changes daily.  Our feelings change.  Our bodies change.  Our babies grow into little people.  Our lives are constantly in a state of change and newness.  Once you start getting comfortable you can rest assured that change is eminent and that newness is up ahead.

I really don’t like newness as much as I thought I did.  Newness means change.  I like the norm, the predictable, and the safety in knowing exactly what I can expect will happen. 

God doesn’t change.  His love doesn’t change.  But we do!  Our circumstances are constantly making us adapt and embrace change.

I read a quote recently that I loved, “So, I close my eyes to old ends And open my heart to new beginnings.

 

 

This year is another new beginning for us as now we have a middle schooler!  Julia will be 12 in a few short months and she is blossoming into this WOMAN right before our very eyes.

And so, the adventure begins…

Part of me says…”I’m not ready for this!”

The other part of me says, “Girlfriend, you literally have no choice!”

The best time for new beginnings is now.

 

As we embrace this new beginning for our family of having a Pre-teen I know that God is working and preparing our hearts and minds for all it is we will have to accomplish and teach our children.

I am still amazed by the job of parenthood.

It is such a daunting task to raise little humans into adult humans.

I still remember bringing her home that first wintry day.  She barely fit in that car seat.  She was all cheeks.  She was fast asleep as we both stared at her and wondered how the heck the doctors and nurses were allowing us to bring this precious babe home.  Where was the book that came with her?  No book?

Now, 4 kids later, we are experts at parenting right?  Wrong!

WE are Still learning, still growing, still being molding by Jesus each day.

Praying we are doing the right thing each step of the way.

We are entrusting all of them to Him. We are pointing them to Him.

This morning as we put everyone in the car, backpacks, lunches, instruments.  I saw Julia staring at her phone.  My first words were…”Julia we need Jesus before we need our phone, put your phone away and read your Bible.”  And as I said it I felt like such a hypocrite…how many times do I wake up and stare at my phone before pausing to even think or talk to God.

We fail.  We fall.  He’s still there.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” Albert Einstein

If you are a parent out there, reading this, today just remember how blessed you are to be called Momma!  As hard as it is, it truly is a gift. 

And when I pause long enough to think about it all I feel is gratitude.

I follow God’s lead and keep following Him as we raise our 4 kids. 

And so, the adventure begins…

50 Million Things

As a busy Mom of 4 I feel like the minute I wake up until the moment I go to bed there are "50 million things" that I have to do.  I want to do them all and I want to do them well.  Very often I feel overwhelmed and full of anxiety.  I find myself having to write things down or text myself lists to remember everything.

 

I have to plan birthday parties.

 

I have to plan play dates.

 

I have to keep up with my friends.

 

I have to support my husband in his career.

 

I have to go to work and excel in my career.

 

I have to feed my family dinner.

 

I have to pack lunches for camp.

 

I have to work out.  (Guys...I don't do this...but I HAVE to)

 

I have to check in on my parents.

 

I have to have quiet time with God.

 

I have to go food shopping.

 

Do you ever feel like you just can't keep up?  Do you feel like you just want everything to stop, and wait, and for everyone to be quiet so you can think?

 

There are times I actually tell the kids, "Please stop talking/fighting/yelling, Mommy is trying to think."

 

What does a person DO when there is so much to DO?

 

I refuse to get discouraged.  I know this is just "a season", but I wonder does every mom/parent feel like this?  Do you all feel like you are on a gerbil wheel going at the fastest pace possible and you just want to get off and sit?

 

I miss nap time.

 

I miss reading novels.

 

I miss the quiet.

 

I miss free time.

 

I think for me I need to start prioritizing my "50 million things."  I need to start saying what I have to do and what I need to do.

 

And too often my list is about everybody else's needs and not my own and definitely not about God.  #selfcare

 

I feel like what I NEED the most is quiet time with Him so that I can actually prioritize properly and less of doing all this other stuff.

 

I Still haven't figured it all out yet.  I Still feel like there are 50 Million things to do...

 

But God has got me!  I literally have the best husband a girl could ask for.

 

And sometimes the bravest thing to do is say...I need help.

 

 

These are the Good Old Days!

The Good Old Days

On Father's Day we desperately wanted to find a family outing that all the kids could enjoy, wouldn't be expensive, and would be a memory maker.  John really wanted a bonding time with the boys so he took them fishing with his Dad early in the morning at Long Branch, and the girls went to church.  We still wanted to do something special with all of the kids...we didn't want to drive too far and we really wanted them to be excited about our choice.

Life with four kids is very overwhelming if you focus on the noise, mess, and fighting and even being in the car with them for a long time it makes you not want to do anything.  But if you really sit back and look at it from a different perspective, you do get to realize that these are, "the good old days."  Years from now John and I will probably look back and say, "Wow, we had it all, it was so great, yes, it was a lot of work, and chaotic and stressful.   However, we are healthy, we have each other, and God has provided too much for us to complain about the inconveniences or difficulties of managing a large family.

We finally decided to take the kids to Princeton and go kayaking.  We've done it a few times before.  The kids like it there and they were all promised ice cream at Bent Spoon.  We go to the rental, we pick out our life jackets, we get our paddles, and as we get in the boat it starts...the fighting, the unkind words, the shaking the boat, getting each other wet with the paddles.  Mia is mad because she isn't sitting where she wants.  Micah wants a different paddle.  UGH

Life with kids is so unpredictable.  No matter how hard you try all the kids will not be happy all at the same time.  There will be always be conflict.  As a parent you are always doubting yourself.  Maybe we should've just stayed home.  (you may think to yourself)  See, these kids don't appreciate us (you say under your breath).  We do all these fun things and no one says thank you. But really these moments are just a blip in their life.  They might not remember the kayaking.  They might not remember exactly how we spent Father's Day.  But I will tell you what if you lose it on them or yell, they will remember that.  Kids remember how you make them feel.  Do you make them feel loved and safe?  Do you let them have fun?  Are you up tight and tense (that is my weakness).  It is really hard sometimes for parents to let go and relax and have fun.  That is the beauty of being a team.  My husband is everything I'm not.  He's so carefree and fun that he completely balances me out.  He makes me look good.  And hopefully I make him look good in other areas (like the planning or organization or being on time area).

Living life with kids isn't easy but there are so many good things.  And having a family helps you to see your faults and work on them.  You learn quickly your weaknesses and strengths and you realize how much you can't do anything without God!

I created a list of things that get me through each day with my kids.  A list of things to remind myself to be grateful.  A list of things I want to be more like.  A list that sums up how we do what we do, and how to keep doing it well.

Here it goes:
1. Be flexible always.
2. Life will be loud, get used to it.
3. Give yourself and your kids a lot of grace.
4. There will be times you feel very overwhelmed, don't be afraid to reach out to your favorite people.
5. Pray through the tough moments and praise God for the easy ones.
6. Learn to ask for help and delegate when possible (housekeeper, babysitter, etc.)
7. Pay for things (like lawn care) so that you can enjoy family time, because time is precious.
8. Quality time does not have to be expensive (a trip to the farm is free...all you need is money for the donuts!)
9. Create lasting memories so your kids can look back and remember time with you.
10. Tell your kids all the time: I love you, I like you, I see you, I hear you, I am proud of you!
11. It's ok for your kids to have to wait for things and work for things they want.  It teaches them patience and good work ethics.
12. Teach your children that you are not perfect (or a superhero) and that you will make mistakes.
13. When you do fall short or make mistakes (yell too loud, or go too far in discipline) tell them you are sorry.  It teaches them what to do when they make mistakes.
14. Pray as a family together.  Let your kids see you praising God and asking God for your needs.
15. Read the Bible together.  Children are watching everything you do.  They know what is important to you.
16. Have deep talks...let them ask questions, even if it is inconvenient.
17. Take time for just you and your spouse.  Don't stop dating!!!
18. Remember there is always grace for today....give grace generously.
19. Enjoy every minute...when you are snuggling, prepping meals, cleaning the house, do it all with joy...because they are watching...because the days are long but the years are short, because life is too short to be a grump or cranky all the time!
20. Don't sweat the small stuff.  Pick your battles.  Love your kids.  Kiss your spouse.  Smile.  Give long hugs.
21. Ask God to help you appreciate every little thing.  Especially when they say, "I love you, or You are my best friend, or Thank you."
22. Only discipline your kids for: dishonesty, disrespect, defiance, or disobedience.  Don't get mad about being messy or spilling a drink...or wearing clothes that don't match...!  Heart issues are the main issues.
23. Love your spouse well.
24. Appreciate your spouse.
25. Become a team.  Have each other's back.  Be on the same side.

8 More Summers

Eight More Summers

My oldest daughter, Julia,  is now 10 years old...and it has me thinking...I only have a few more years with her before she is done with high school and possibly off to college or working full time.  I only have eight more summers.  

I don't mean to sound depressing.  I just mean to sound realistic.  Time is ticking.  "The days are long but the years are short."  That phrase doesn't really apply to my days anymore.  The days are fast, so fast, too fast.  That wasn't the case a mere 2 years ago...then, when I had a 1 year old, a 2 year old, and a 7 and 8 year old to occupy and teach and raise time went s o  s o  s l o w l y.  

Now, by the time I look up at the clock at work its 3:00 pm, we get home by 4:00 p.m.  Then there's dinner prep, homework, and Taekwondo and showers and next thing you know it's 8:00, John comes home and it's uniform check, books and bedtime.

It's amazing to me how we are given these treasures called children.  Some of them we carry inside of us, we give birth to them, we lose hours of sleep, we invest time, money, and sleep, did I mention sleep?  And then we watch them grow and flourish.  

They start crawling, walking, talking, and then our job gets harder as we try to protect every little fall with gates, bouncy toys, high chairs, pack and plays, I call that stage "keeping them alive" stage.

Then they start their school journey, whether it be homeschool, pre-school, public school or private school, they learn to read, they learn to add and subtract and they start to make friends.  We watch them grow, make choices, and have opinions.  I love the school stage.  Must be the educator in me.  I love teaching them to read.  

I love showing them a new place.  I love taking them on field trips.  I love reading about something and then experiencing it for the first time, like apple picking or the planetarium, or taking them to the library.  

The only part I don't like about the school stage is navigating through hurt feelings and cruel kids.

And my favorite part of being a Mom has always been summer time.  

The walks around the neighborhood.

Slip and slides in the back yard.

Visiting the zoo.

Luaus and ice pops with friends.

Cape May.

Bike rides.

Central park strolls and warm doughy pretzels.

And the beach.

And we only have 8 more summers.  How can that be?

I am thankful for all those women who told me...enjoy every minute because time flies.  So many women told me that raising kids comes in dips and waves and it goes so fast.  At first I didn't believe them.  I thought to myself, "This is taking forever!"  But now that my oldest is almost there I want to slow it down a little and I want to savor every bed time book she asks me to read.  

I want to go on more mommy/daughter dates.

I want to have sleep overs in her room. (The kind where we stay up and talk and giggle and then when she falls a sleep I go back to my bed.)

I want to take it slow and enjoy every minute.  

This morning I found myself letting Amelia put on make up in my bathroom as I got ready for work even though I was rushing and she was right under me, because I looked in the mirror and said soon she will be too big and busy for me.  But now she thinks I'm amazing and wants to spend every minute copying me.  

And I actually said to myself, "Lord, don't let me forget this moment."  This moment when I feel the tug of having to get ready for work but also appreciating the little moments with my kids that sometimes I find annoying now but will cherish later.

Lord willing, I have 8 more summers with Julia, nine more summers with Mark, fourteen more summers with Micah (Help!) and fifteen more summers with Amelia.

Whoa.

I feel... lucky :)

Caught in a Whirlwind

God's Faithfulness during our Busyness

The past two months I have been caught in a whirlwind.  New job, new school, new role.  Same responsibilities only more, much more.  And as badly as I want time to stand still so that no one gets lost in the shuffle, no one gets taller, and everyone can just be on the same page in life God is showing me over and over again that it is just not possible.

Life keeps moving and changing and shifting and so I am learning to just hold fast to His faithfulness during this super busy time in our lives.  If I have learned anything in the past 10 years of being a Mom it's that I can't do anything in my own strength.  I can't slow anything down.  And I certainly am not in control.

If I was in complete control I would be homeschooling 4 kids right now in the comfort of our home and doing the two coops we signed up for.  But God changed our life very suddenly on Labor Day when I got a call asking me to switch gears and enter the work force again.  I got offered a position as elementary principal at the Christian school I used to teach at and all of my children would be with me.  How could I say no?

I felt like God did this at such a time as this to show me, Kristi, I chose you and I will guide you and help you if you continue to trust me and cling to me during the process.  Picture me right now clinging to a tree for dear life as a hurricane is happening all around.  Picture the wind and the rain and the crazy wet lady clinging to the tree and that would be me right now.  I feel like what am I doing here Lord?  Are you sure you want me here?  Did I make the right decision?  Am I capable?  Can we survive this?  Is this really what you had planned for me?

And I keep hearing Him say:

I love you.

You are valuable.

I have a plan for you.

I am in control.

I will give you grace for each day.

I go before you.

I will guide you.

I will be your mouthpiece.

I will direct your steps.

I will comfort you.

I will strengthen you.

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I will help you.

I am always with you.

I will never leave you.

So sometimes the rain stops and the wind dies down long enough for me to believe all those things and keep trusting.  I feel like going from stay at home mom to full time working mom is a huge adjustment in and of itself.  Those of you who have been on this journey I am sure you can understand.  There are days I am fearful that I am not enough for anyone.  I feel like can I still be a good mom and work?  I have questions about my new role that I really can't answer until I just learn on the job.  

But God keeps reminding me, Kristi, I knew about this plan for you even before you did.  It may have caught you and John by surprise but I have been equipping you all along the way.  I kept giving you more kids to show you that you are not in control, my dear.  I kept you on your toes all this time to prepare you for this very moment when you got that phone call and in your heart you knew you had to say yes.  Don't doubt yourself my sweet I have got you.

That still small quiet voice is steadying me even now as I find the few spare moments in the evening to type it all down and reassure myself that I will make it.  I will keep trusting Him.  God has been so faithful all along and He isn't about to fail me now.  Isn't it ironic that we doubt the one sure thing that doesn't change.  God is faithful.  God provides.  He is in control.  And praise the Lord He always has a plan.

So right now I don't feel like I am in the storm.  But I will still cling to Him because when the wind and the rain starts again I will need to quiet it down with His words and His truth.

I Thought I LOST You

It's been eleven days...

Our last visit to the beach will not be soon forgotten.  It started out like a typical beach day for us, pack the snack bags, pack the towels, bring the buckets and water bottles, don't forget Micah's shark or the organic sunblock, and the puddle jumpers (life jackets) for Micah and Mia, and cash for admission and parking.

We got there without any traffic, and arrived around 9:30 a.m.  First family by the life guards our usual spot.  One thing was very different about this trip, Micah was in a zone.  He was collecting sea shells and rocks and he was so focused.  I've honestly never seen him so intensely into a task.  He was so excited with each find and would run over to me and made me keep all his treasures safe by my beach chair.  He even found a snail that he was begging me to let him bring home and keep as a pet.

At 10 a.m. on the dot I looked up at the life guard gave him a thumbs up and he gave me the signal back saying it was ok for the kids to now enter the water.  I took a few pics on my phone and carefully put it away and kept my eyes on all the kids as they played by the waves.  Around 10:30 a.m. lots of other families started filling in the beach landscape.  More kids in the water always makes it harder to see where your kids are but I have it down to a science with bathing suit colors and hand signals to Julia who swims out the farthest.

Around 11 a.m. Julia made a friend in the ocean, another girl named Julia.  Me and her mom got to talking and even put our beach chairs together as we kept an eye on all the kids.  She had two girls and kept commenting on how much Mark looked like a neighborhood kid she knew.  Me and this woman had a lot in common with being teachers, and having two daughters, and loving the beach so we hit it off right away.  Come to find out she was also Irish and Italian like John so we were laughing about how some of our kids tan and the more Irish ones don't.

Once Trish and I started talking Micah and Mark started getting on each other's nerves.  Mark kept taking Micah's rocks, Micah kept splashing him.  It went back and forth.  Then Mark found something in the ocean (a big foam ball) that Micah wanted.  They kept at it with each other.  I told Mark to go play and stop teasing his brother.  Trish and I stood up to talk as we kept an eye on the girls in the ocean.  Amelia was happily playing at my feet with a bucket.  Then the big girls came out of the ocean.  And the next thing I knew I didn't see or hear Micah or Mark.

Even now as I type those words I feel the panic fill my chest and dry out my mouth the way I felt at that moment.  As I looked out onto the beach filled with all the people and the noises all I could keep hearing over and over in my head is, "I lost my boys...I lost my boys." I gave Amelia to Julia and told her to sit in my chair and not to move and to keep Amelia in her lap.  I went straight to the life guard and told him what happened.  You never think this will happen to you.  And I never ever thought this would happen to me.  The life guard was calm and cool and said, "This happens all of the time, kids often follow the shore line and go with the wind.  What was he wearing? What was his name?  What do they look like?"  I gave as many details as I could.  Mark was wearing a spider man shirt he's 8 and has red hair.  Micah is 4 and has blondish brown hair and he's wearing a red rash guard."  "Don't worry he told me, I'm going to page every life guard on this beach."

Don't worry?  The life guard actually said that to me, the mom, the worrier of all worriers.

Don't worry.  I looked out again on the beach at the waves, did they drown?  How could they drown? How could I lose them?  Why isn't anyone wearing red?  Why can't I find them?  How could I lose them?  I lost our boys.  I lost our boys...

Julia saw the utter fear in my eyes.  "Mom it's going to be okay."  I walked along the beach saying their names, calling them praying they would answer me.  All I kept thinking was how would I tell John they were both gone?  This is my only job.  To watch my children.  I failed.

I went in the opposite direction and started calling their names, and then...I saw him!  "Micah!!!!!"  I collapsed.  I literally dropped to my knees and just cried.  "Buddy where were you?  I couldn't find you.  You were lost!  Where were you?  What happened?"  Micah looked at me as though I completely lost my mind.  (He didn't think he was lost at all.  He was on a running adventure with Mark and to him it was all fun and games.  He never saw me this upset crying like this and he had no idea what the fuss was all about.)

Then a second or two after that, a lifeguard came with Mark.  We grabbed each other and cried together.  "I'm so sorry buddy.  Were you so scared?  What happened?"  You think in that moment you might be angry or yell or get mad.  All I could do was hold him and cry.  Later, Mark asked me, "Mom were you embarrassed that the lifeguard and everyone on the beach saw you crying?"  I told him, "Mark, all I cared about was you boys and finding you, I don't care who saw me cry."

We all sat by my beach chair and Mark explained that Micah started to run in the opposite direction with the foam ball.  Micah thought it was a game, but Mark saw that he was running too far away and Mark was trying to get him to stop running away but it all happened so fast and then he couldn't find me.  And when he realized he was lost the life guard came and found him.

The whole ordeal was probably 3-5 minutes.  But to me and Mark it felt like an eternity.  Time completely stood still.  We didn't stay at the beach much longer.  I drank some much needed water.  We hugged Trish and the girls goodbye.  We thanked the life guards.  We packed up our stuff.  And we headed to the showers, and the playground.  At the showers I watched the four kids get all their sand off and I called John.  I called John and just sobbed.  It was literally the scariest feeling knowing that you almost lost your kids.  I hugged everyone a little tighter that day.

Driving home from the beach I realized two things:

1. I don't want to ever have that feeling again.

2. I now understand the story of the Prodigal Son so much better.

You know the scene in the Prodigal Son where the son returns home after spending all of his inheritance on partying and living the "good life" in a short time?  And he realizes how good he had it in the safety and comfort of his own home with his family?  So he returns home and even while he is a long way off his father runs to him, embraces him, gives him a ring and throws him a huge feast.  I always used to be so baffled, like how could the father just forgive him so easily and take him back??? He didn't get a lecture...he didn't get a list of rules to follow...he didn't get an I told you so...all he got was a warm greeting, a huge hug, some bling and a fancy feast!!! So confusing.

But when you are the parent, and your child is lost, all you care about is them being back in your arms.  You don't need an apology.  You don't want to give a lecture.  You don't want to say I told you so.  You are just so thankful they are alive, that they are breathing, that you get to go home with them, and that they are yours.

I have thanked God a million times for that experience because it has taught me to love my kids better.  It has taught me that moms are not super heroes.  It has taught me that losing a child can take a second.  It has taught me that my kids are always my number one priority, and no distraction should ever take my eyes off of them.  It taught me and reminded me of my great need for God.  I need God so much and I'm so thankful for his care and provision for us and for me that day.  I absolutely cannot raise my kids without God's help at every single turn.  My kids saw me at my worst that day, the panic, the fear, the crying.  But tears and all,  I think my sons saw how much I love them that day.  They saw how worried I was, how scared I was, and how happy I was when I saw them.

We still talk about our last trip to the beach.  I didn't want to tell anyone about it.  But I realize it can honestly happen to anyone and I'm very thankful God was so gracious to us and that I (thanks to all those hard working, amazing lifeguards) found the boys so quickly after losing them.

Best Place/Time to Pray

We have decided that once a year we will get away from it all.  We will find loved ones to watch our children.  We will book a hotel/bed and breakfast and we will take time for us and find time to reconnect, reevaluate, and refocus for the upcoming year for our family.

Last year I remember sitting on the boardwalk of Cape May, listening to the waves, watching the families and couples pass us by as we sat on our little bench by the beach praying for what God would have for us as a family.  I especially remember praying for each kid by name and asking God for His guidance in raising them, choosing the best schooling for them, and asking God to help us to be the parents He wants us to be.

This year we did something new.  We still drove down to Cape May and chose an excellent hotel to stay in for our anniversary weekend. But this year as the sun began to set and the moon began to rise into the night sky we walked on the beach, climbed the nearest lifeguard chair and sat beneath the stars.  It was as if noone could see or disturb us, except for a few young kids playing in the water waiting for their turn to climb the big chair.  We were at our own little spot, and we watched the tide come in and again we prayed for our children, their schooling, their behavior, our goals, our marriage, John's job, our loved ones who were sick or struggling.  We just sat there and prayed.  There were no interruptions.  There were no texts to check or meals to prep or messes to clean up.  It was just us and that sky, and the sound of the waves.  And we could literally feel God's presence.  I knew He was there and I knew He was listening.

In all honesty that was the best part of our weekend getaway.  We really needed to pray and hear from God and that just was the perfect spot and the perfect time.  August is always a big refocusing time for us as we head into a new school year, new routine, new activities, it's always a great time to just really talk about our goals for each of the kids and just pick each other's brains.  I can remember last year how good it felt to get away and be with John and to stop everything to just hold hands and pray, and this year it was just as sweet.  It reminds me each time that we need to do this more often.  We shouldn't wait to pray for each other or together once a year.  We should do it every night if possible. I cherish the Sunday nights in bed where John remembers to pray for the week ahead.  He squeezes my hand and says, "Can I pray for our week?"

I share all of this not to say we have it all together, but to show how powerful prayer is.  It really unites us and is uplifting and encouraging.  I always feel closer to John after those getaways and I love that we have a tradition of finding a spot by the beach to pray.

Matthew 18:2020 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

14 Years of "I do"

14 years of saying I do....

I do laundry
I do dinner
I do birthing
I do feeding
I do diapers
I do teaching
I do homeschooling
I do back rubs (not well)
I do house cleaning
I do domestic
I do nurturing
I do breakfast
I do the bills (some of them)
I do windows
I do toilets
I do lunch
I do date planning
I do christmas gifts
I do birthday gifts
I do Christmas cards
I do birthday parties
I do it because I love you more than anything or anyone in this whole world

I used to think that marriage was 50/50.  I really did.  You do your part, and I'll do mine.  This was before I got married.

But premarital counseling taught me better.  Marriage is 100/100.  You do your best and I'll do mine.  You give all of yourself unselfishly all the time.  Love is a choice.  And you my sweet are easy to love.

You do forgiveness
You do grace
You do funny
You do fun
You do joy
You do laughter
You do games
You do hide and seek
You do nerf guns
You do gardening
You do weeds
You do the bills (all of them)
You do Anniversaries
You do Valentine's day
You do Mother's Day
You do mommy needs a big break so everyone come out with me while we give her one
You do the park
You do Taekwondo
You do financial planning
You do light bulb changes
You do "boy talks"
You do everything better

I'm so thankful for you. And I love you.  You balance me out.  You smooth out my rough edges.  You make me laugh...all the time and without that I'd be too serious and to strict and so boring!  I love how God put us together and made us a team.  I married well.  You are the best part of me.

Happy Anniversary.

How'd I get so incredibly lucky?

Love,
Me

Summer Bucket List

Tank Tops, Flip Flops, Nothing Fancy

We are so excited to be all together as a party of five this summer!  And when days that John works from home or is off a party of six.  I love asking the kids where they want to go and what places they want to see, and hear what people they want to visit.  It broadens my perspective and opens my eyes up to their world.  

Summer time is all about re-connecting as a family, going on some fun day trips, play dates out in the back yard with the slip and slide and loads of ice pops, and honestly a little bit of nothing.  I'm looking forward to not having to drive every single day to a million different places.  Yes, we will do our weekly trip to the beach and a field trip here and there, but my soul needs a bit of rest from the hustle and bustle that the school year naturally brings.

The kids and I each made a list last night of fun things we want to do and fun places we want to go and beloved people that we want to see.  We took our lists very seriously.  Then my hubby came home and when I was upstairs giving bath time he decided he wanted to make a bucket list.  He gave all of us a big laugh!  My son Mark (the rule follower) thought Dad's bucket list was NOT FAIR at all.  My husband thought it was completely fair and he told the kids he took it very seriously. 

*******

My blog posts will be sparse this summer as you can imagine how busy it will be over here occupying four very different, very opinionated, very high energy kids is!  I'm really excited to do some organizing and planning for our upcoming school year.  I look forward to no homework at night time and tons of reading with the kids.  We always like to review our math facts for a few minutes each day.  We usually set a family goal about how many books we will read over the summer.  I'm pretty sure it will be a full one and it's always nice to have a plan or a list to check off when we do visit the place or see the person we had on our list.

One last thing, we will be keeping a Summer Journal.  Partly because I want to sneak some writing in from all the kids, and partly because I love composition notebooks.  During each week we will choose a journal day, maybe Thursday or Friday and recap what we did that week, what we saw or collected at the beach, the playdates we had, etc.  And in August we will invite the grandparents over and have a Summer Recap Dessert Night.  Then the kids can show their grandparents their journals and practice their amazing public speaking skills (one can dream) and enjoy some strawberry shortcake with the family.  It's all about the daily memories and making the most of every moment.  

Have a great summer!

Love,

Team Mac

The First Few Weeks

Bringing a Newborn Home

Those first few weeks at home with a newborn are so many things, they are magical, they are exciting, they are surreal, they are wonderful but let's be honest, they are so hard!  When every second you are needed to feed, change, rock, burp, hold, entertain a small one AND keep the rest of your life in order (pay bills, buy food, cook meals, keep the other kids alive) it starts to dawn on you how massive the task of a newborn can be.

Here is just a quick post on how not only to simply survive those first few weeks, but to even thrive a little.  God has given you this amazing task of parenthood.  Your baby that you've held in heart/mind/body is now HERE in the flesh.  Make the most of every moment and be able to take a shower and smell good too.

Step 1-

Let others help you!

Do you even know how exciting it is for others to see you and the baby right now?  You are it sweetheart!  You did it!  You had this baby and people want to help you, cook meals for you, bring you gifts, hear your birth story (however wonderful or traumatic it was), hold your baby, clean your toilets.  We will do just about anything to help you at this time and the biggest mistake you could make at this time is to say, no.  Don't do it.  Let people stop by and bring a meal.  This doesn't mean you let people stay over for hours on end, have boundaries, but please dear one, let people in.  Let mamas spoil you... let people make you chili, let people fold your laundry, let people do your dishes or watch your other kids.  If they offer say YES!  Because after a few months the newness will be gone and it will be you and your little one alone on the couch wondering where all the people are!  This is good not only for the other kids in your house to see how loved you are, to feel the support, for your husband to have extra help too is wonderful, but it will brighten your days, it feels so good to share your birth story with friends, it is so cool to see your family and friends bond with your baby.  

Step 2-

Use paper products!

You are not Martha Stewart.  You are not Joanna Gaines.  You just had a baby and you need rest, you need to bond with your baby, and you need to put your feet up when that baby closes his/her eyelids.  I never knew how much I needed to rest until after I had a newborn.  My body was so tired and instead of listening to my body every time Julia or Mark slept I thought it was my lot in life to clean the house, cook the next meal, and do yet another load of laundry.  Girlfriend, it took me until I had Micah to actually R. E. S. T.  Paper products may be bad for the planet, but for 3-4 weeks it's not a big deal.  Use paper plates, napkins, and paper cups.  The less you have to wash, the less you have to put in the dish washer, the less you have to put away the BETTER.  If people who are bringing you a meal ask do you need me to bring anything else say, "Would you mind brining paper plates by?"  And they will and you will be so thankful.  Trust me.  I have learned that the less cleaning I do the more family quality time I have and that my sweet is more precious to me than gold.

Step 3-

Take a million pictures!

Listen, sweet pants, this new baby is going to be so well fed and so well rested and be in size 3 months clothing and size 1 diapers before you know it!  Now is the time to take pictures of them in their crib, in their siblings laps, on their Daddy's chest.  Now is the time to paint their hand and make finger prints and foot prints and frame them.  Now is the time to take a picture of them propped up by a window where they are getting extra sunlight because they are jaundice.  Now is the time to take 2 million selfies with them.  There is no such thing as over posting when you have a newborn.  People love to see babies.  They are all so sweet and beautiful.  Take a million pictures because once they start crawling picture taking is a whole different ball game.

Step 4-

Don't worry about the Weight!

Hey, it took 9 months to put the 30 something (more or less) pounds on, and it's completely ok for it to take 9 months to get it all off.  Don't stress about baby weight.  Nobody cares.  Really, nobody is thinking how you need to lose weight.  All they care about is you and that sweet baby you brought into the world.  Seriously don't get hung up on things like fitting back into all your clothes at a certain point.  You either will or you won't and if you have to get some new clothes down the line you will.  Take care of you and the baby and really your body will do a great job for you.  Put everything into perspective.  You are beautiful.  You are loved.  And God has blessed you with a family to care for.

Step 5-

Cherish Every Minute.

I used to hate when people would say that to me after I had Julia.  Like really?  Cherish the fact that I can't sleep for 8 hours anymore?  Cherish the fact that I have leaky boobs on my clean shirts.  Cherish the fact that I now have double the amount of laundry/work in my life?  Cherish the fact that my nipples are sore and I'm tired all of the time.  Yup.  Want to know why?  In a few weeks you are going to be completely in a rhythm.  You got this mom thing!  You were made to be a Mom.  And when you cherish the moment you realize how quickly this baby will be a kid.  This is just a season in the parent hood life.  It doesn't stay like this for long.  In a few months it will be a new thing to cherish...teething, rolling over, crawling, eating solids, sitting up, talking...it keeps changing, they keep growing, and the thing is you will too.  You will grow and change and cherish each season and then you can look back on the memories with fondness and joy and remember how great it was to sit on the couch holding a sweet newborn that just spit up all over you.  Trust me.  It's all in perspective. Cherish this time.  Be so thankful for every minute.  God is so good.  He is bigger than any of your problems or issues you may be facing.  He is there with you in these moments.  And He loves you.  He will guide you every step of the way on your parenthood journey!  Just allow Him to.

She Wants A Nap

This Mother's Day...Here is a List of Things Almost Every Mom Wants...

I hope this list will be helpful for all the Dads out there wondering what to get the awesome Moms/Wives out there!

1. A nap.  She wants a nap. The whole room to herself. Complete quiet. No knocking on the door. No questions. No meal to cook. Just give her time for an uninterrupted nap.

2. She wants coffee. By herself. All of it hot. In complete quiet. Sipping it. Enjoying it. It doesn't matter if it's Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Wawa, or homemade. But she wants coffee. 

3. She wants quality time. (After the nap and after the coffee). She wants to enjoy all of you. Noisy, fighting, preferably getting along, but she wants to be with you and the kids. No electronics, no emails, no interruptions just her family. 

4. She wants flowers. She does. Yes, they are a complete waste of money. Yes they might die some day. But she wants them. On the table or in the garden. They are pretty and they smell good and she doesn't want to ask for them. 

5. She wants something hand made. Preferably a card. With your words. Not hallmarks. Tell her you love her. Tell her she's great. Tell her your thankful. Tell her you don't know how she does what she does but your glad she does it. Words mean so much. 

6. She wants time to herself. Not all day but at least 2-3 hours to just rest, read a book, binge watch Gilmore Girls, organize her closet. She just needs some alone time.

7. She wants a picture of herself with the kids.  This is important.  This means a lot to her.  This never happens.  Moms always take all the pictures.  Mom never gets to be in the picture.  Don't make her ask.  Just take the picture.  Capture the moment, and make the kids laugh.  Say something really silly and help the moment to be memorable.  Dads can always make everyone laugh.  Even if you have to say...POOP! :)  This is the only time a potty word is ok.

8. She doesn't want to plan the weekend.  She doesn't want to plan her Mother's Day.  Come on Dads this is your weekend to shine.  You got this!  Pull out all the stops.  Make french toast.  Take the kids food shopping.  Plant some flowers.  Do the mulch (if it's not raining).  This means so much to us when we don't have to plan and can just rest and relax knowing you have it covered.  Don't worry we will go along with your plan!  We promise.

9. Last thing...she wants the kids to behave. Good. Luck. 

Happy Mother's Day mamas. 

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

Love Letters from God

Naomi, Molly, Julia, Lana (4/8 of the Sweet Sisters Discipleship Group)

Love Letters From God: Bible Stories for a Girl's Heart

This book by Glenys Nellist is awesome!  It takes you through the very beginning of the Bible in the Old Testament with Eve and all the way through to the New Testament with Mary Magdalene.  You meet a total of 14 girls and learn all about their story.  That's what makes this book so unique is it focuses on females in the Bible!  I love that!  Each page is brightly colored with scenes from the Bible, famous scenes like Eve in the Garden of Eden, and Miriam by the Nile River with Moses.  Glenys takes you through each major female character and shares her story.  One of the parts that the girls in my discipleship group like the most are the flaps on the opposite page with a Love Letter from God written to each girl using the moral of each Woman's story and applying it to the young girl who reads it.  I liked this book so much I am using it to launch my Discipleship Group with a bunch of girls at my church.  They are ages 8-10 and our group that met this past week was 5 girls but we are a total of 8 girls.

First of all, the illustrations and color choices are brilliant and beautiful.  You want to see how Rachel Clowes brings the stories of these 14 women to life.  There are so many shades of pinks and purples and every color of the rainbow and it makes each page jump out at you.  One of my favorite drawings was the page about Queen Esther and the other two are Eve in the Garden and the purple-filled twilight page about Mary the Mother of Jesus.

As we read through the book I noticed how much each girl wanted a turn to read a page and open the Love Letter flap.  What a great touch that was to the book!  Kids LOVE flap books and a love letter is something we all enjoy reading.  Hearing words our heavenly father might lovingly say to us or ask us is such a treat!  We liked it so much that we ended our time writing love letters to God and the girls had a great idea that each time we read further in the book we should write a love letter to God about what we learned and then collect them all and make a book!

I loved listening to the girls read the book out loud to each other, and I really loved the questions that came up about each girl in the book.  We thought about times we tried to hide our sin the way Eve did, we talked about how we did something really brave to help our family members like Miriam did for her baby brother.  In fact Naomi and Julia P. both shared stories about how they saved their brother from a major catastrophe.  I think the girls were really able to relate to the characters and then reading the Love Letter from God on each page really brought home the fact that God loves us and wants us to choose to follow Him no matter what.  He forgives us, He loves us, and He shows us so much grace and mercy.  We talked about how thankful we were for His love!

Molly, Emma, Julia M., Alyssa

This book is going to change these little girl's lives.  And as you can see we have our Bible with us too.  We are also looking up the passages that the stories come from and reading the Bible chapters along with the book.  It is so neat to see young girls thirsty for God's truth.

Thank you Glenys for writing such a great book!  We need to hear those stories about girls/women who were brave, who were thirsty, who trusted God when all else seemed hopeless, and God did awesome things through them. We are so excited to continue reading your book along with the Bible and growing in God's grace and love each time we meet!

Watch this video clip! The Trusting Girl (Miriam and baby Moses story)

Meet the author!

Even Amelia enjoyed the book!

Here is the book on Amazon.  If you comment below I will be sure to choose a person to give a FREE book courtesy of the author herself! (Zondervan can not deliver books to a PO Box, this is only open to residents of the USA who have a physical address)

Only The Best Food For My Babies

Our Decision to Breastfeed

Looking back it was one of those decisions that just felt right.  It was free, it was all natural, and it would help to speed along any weight gained through pregnancy so for me it was a win win for the both of us!  I decided to breast feed Julia even before she was the size of a golf ball.  All natural seemed like such a no-brainer decision.  Why didn't everyone breastfeed?

I found the reason out the minute Julia was a few days old. Perhaps not all moms chose to breast feed because of the intense pain they experienced while doing so!  It hurt so bad those first few weeks and no I was not doing it wrong!  It just plain hurt.  I can still remember being in agony every time she latched on.  I would literally see stars.  Once we got into our rhythm of breast feeding and pumping during the day so John could feed Julia bottles at night (so I could sleep for a few uninterrupted hours) the pain subsided and we breastfed like a champ until 10 months.  Julia started weaning herself off and I didn't realize why, until I took a pregnancy test and discovered we were pregnant with baby #2!

Mark Ciro

When Mark was born everything about his birth and his feeding was different.  His birth was by far my favorite.  It was quick, easy and done in the water.  Having a water birth the second time around was so relaxing.  Mark latched on quickly and our breastfeeding story was easy and I can't ever being in pain.  We stopped breast feeding right around 13 months and Mark started drinking soy milk.  

Micah Justice

Four years went by and we had our second son Micah, my feeding situation with Micah was rough!  He couldn't latch properly.  I bled a lot in the beginning when I nursed him which made it so painful and I would try to pump but that hurt too.  Then I would get mastitis.  I was a hot mess.  We stuck with it and I had a lactation consultant come over to the house to help me, within an hour we figured out the problem and he was fine.  I nursed Micah until is first birthday and then we stopped just like that!  (I was also 3 months pregnant at the time with Amelia)

Prenatal Vitamins Link

Julia 6, Mark 5, Micah 1, Amelia (in the belly)

Amelia was born into a very busy little family.  Julia was 6 1/2, Mark was 5, Micah was 17 months when she joined us.  We were so thankful to add another girl to the mix!  Julia was praying for a baby sister since she already had two brothers.  And she just knew we would have a girl!  She was completely right.

We breastfed Miss Amelia Susanna without any problems, and at 5 months old we started introducing barley cereal and then baby food.  Vegetables first and then fruit.  We breastfed until Amelia was 10 months old and then we went straight to almond milk which she LOVED and drank it straight from a sippy cup.  I would've nursed her forever because she was such a dreamy easy going baby but I had dental work and the meds they put me on were too strong for her to have while breast feeding and she was starting to be so mobile and breastfeeding less and less anyway so it seemed like perfect timing.

I am thankful I listened to my body each time and did what I felt was right for our kids instead of just doing what everyone else was doing at the time.  I stopped breastfeeding when I was ready and when I felt my child was ready.  In my opinion once they were walking and talking it was probably time for them to start a sippy cup.  That was just what was best for us.  

I have learned that the way you feed your child is your choice!  No one can make you feel guilty or tell you that are doing it wrong.  You and your doctor can make those big decisions together.  I always started solids once my babies were 5-6 months old.  I had BIG BABIES.  Both Julia and Mark were 8lbs babies and Micah and Amelia were 9lbs.  In my opinion they were completely able to wait until 5-6 months for solids.  I started their first "meal" of rice cereal or barley cereal at night time.  We would do that for a week or two.  Then we would start trying out all the veggies and then the fruits.  I loved giving them baby food!  And none of my kids had any allergies.  We started peanut butter and jelly sandwiches right around 9-10 months old and they LOVED peanut butter!

Micah had a slight allergy to strawberries, but he loved eating them so much that we would keep trying them and after a few weeks he would no longer get a rash and I figured he wasn't allergic anymore.  If you know Micah you know of his deep love for fruits and veggies and PASTA!

That is our feeding history with our kids.  I have got to tell you something.  Feeding them and watching them grow has been the joy of my life.  There has been no greater moments for me in motherhood than breastfeeding my babies and holding their hands and looking into their eyes and holding them close.  And sitting them in a high chair and feeding them something new and watching their facial expressions has been so fun and hilarious.  Especially when serving them peas!  In my opinion it's best to start with the veggies first because it will broaden their palate and then they will truly enjoy the fruits that much more!  But either way you do it, formula, breastfed, rice cereal, barley, whatever you choose will be perfect for you and your baby.  That's just how it works.  They all even out in the end!  It has to be what is best for you and your situation...it just does!

Check out this links if organic formula is something that is best for your family!

Honest Baby Formula