"You've Got Your Hands Full"
As a mom of 3 kids under 5, my days are very busy, and each moment no matter how well thought out or planned is a surprise.
Just recently I was at a birthday party with all three of my children. It was a movie party. Parents did not have to attend, but because Mark has been very clingy lately I decided I would go and sit in the back with the baby just so Mark would be able to relax and know I was there.
As we got back into the car after the movie, which the kids loved, Despicable Me, I walked with the baby in the carriage and the two big kids on either side of me.
A man driving a truck pulled up next to us and was literally glaring at me...I tried to ignore his stare as I placed the kids in the car, the baby, the diaper bag and folded up the carriage.
The minute he got out of the truck I could feel the hate in his eyes and then I heard the sarcastic, sinister tone in his voice, "You've got your hands full." he said, and I could see he was trying to pick a fight with me because he hesitated and waited for me to respond. I did not look his way but continued to do what every mother does, I went about my business with love and pride for my kids.
But I did not realize that my daughter had heard him or noticed. Or maybe she saw the sadness in my face? She goes: "Mommy that was NOT nice! What did that man say to you??? That was not NICE!" I looked at her for a moment and really thought about what I should say. I calmly took a breath and said, "Julia, don't worry about it. Mommy doesn't talk to strangers." I could tell she felt so bad for me and even though she might not have heard exactly what he said she heard his tone.
That was my teachable moment. Part of me wanted to say something sarcastic back, maybe that was my pride. Part of me wanted to address his rudeness. But another part of me realized that people in this country do not realize the value of family anymore. We say awful things to each other. Instead of being encouraging or helping each other we cut each other down.
At that moment I felt sad for him. I felt sad that he didn't see how much I love my kids. How he didn't realize how much prayer went into having each one. That he didn't offer to say something helpful or kind. His words hurt not because what he said wasn't true...my hands are very full....but because that's not what he was saying...what he was saying was...WHY would you have ALL those kids?
That moment happened 2 weeks ago...and yet here I am still thinking about it and blogging about it because how many times have
I said something to someone to hurt them
intentionally or unintentionally? We all do this. That moment made me realize that something as flip as 5 words can really really alter someone else's day, and even if you go back and apologize for something you did...those words will never ever go away from their memory.
I love the verse Proverbs 15: 1
A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up trouble.
I came across an article in Focus on the Family that said before you say something you should THINK...and each letter represented a word or action and I loved it so much I am going to share it with my kids:
T--Is it TRUE?
H--Is it helpful?
I--Will it inspire?
N--Is it necessary?
K--is it kind?
It will also help me before I speak to my kids...
So, if I ever came across that man again, and he said those words to me and my kids were watching me and what I would say, I would answer: "I do have my hands full. Full of love, full of joy, and full of laughter, having kids has been SUCH a blessing!"
