God's Faithfulness during our Busyness
The past two months I have been caught in a whirlwind. New job, new school, new role. Same responsibilities only more, much more. And as badly as I want time to stand still so that no one gets lost in the shuffle, no one gets taller, and everyone can just be on the same page in life God is showing me over and over again that it is just not possible.
Life keeps moving and changing and shifting and so I am learning to just hold fast to His faithfulness during this super busy time in our lives. If I have learned anything in the past 10 years of being a Mom it's that I can't do anything in my own strength. I can't slow anything down. And I certainly am not in control.
If I was in complete control I would be homeschooling 4 kids right now in the comfort of our home and doing the two coops we signed up for. But God changed our life very suddenly on Labor Day when I got a call asking me to switch gears and enter the work force again. I got offered a position as elementary principal at the Christian school I used to teach at and all of my children would be with me. How could I say no?
I felt like God did this at such a time as this to show me, Kristi, I chose you and I will guide you and help you if you continue to trust me and cling to me during the process. Picture me right now clinging to a tree for dear life as a hurricane is happening all around. Picture the wind and the rain and the crazy wet lady clinging to the tree and that would be me right now. I feel like what am I doing here Lord? Are you sure you want me here? Did I make the right decision? Am I capable? Can we survive this? Is this really what you had planned for me?
And I keep hearing Him say:
I love you.
You are valuable.
I have a plan for you.
I am in control.
I will give you grace for each day.
I go before you.
I will guide you.
I will be your mouthpiece.
I will direct your steps.
I will comfort you.
I will strengthen you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I will help you.
I am always with you.
I will never leave you.
So sometimes the rain stops and the wind dies down long enough for me to believe all those things and keep trusting. I feel like going from stay at home mom to full time working mom is a huge adjustment in and of itself. Those of you who have been on this journey I am sure you can understand. There are days I am fearful that I am not enough for anyone. I feel like can I still be a good mom and work? I have questions about my new role that I really can't answer until I just learn on the job.
But God keeps reminding me, Kristi, I knew about this plan for you even before you did. It may have caught you and John by surprise but I have been equipping you all along the way. I kept giving you more kids to show you that you are not in control, my dear. I kept you on your toes all this time to prepare you for this very moment when you got that phone call and in your heart you knew you had to say yes. Don't doubt yourself my sweet I have got you.
That still small quiet voice is steadying me even now as I find the few spare moments in the evening to type it all down and reassure myself that I will make it. I will keep trusting Him. God has been so faithful all along and He isn't about to fail me now. Isn't it ironic that we doubt the one sure thing that doesn't change. God is faithful. God provides. He is in control. And praise the Lord He always has a plan.
So right now I don't feel like I am in the storm. But I will still cling to Him because when the wind and the rain starts again I will need to quiet it down with His words and His truth.
