A New Year
I couldn't think of just one word to focus on this year so I thought of 6 things that I want to have more of in my life. These 6 things I want to do more and be known for and instill in my family.
I want to stop taking myself so seriously. I want to stop being so intense. I want to let my hair down, my guard down, and get rid of my insecurities and I want to laugh. I want to laugh loud and long and I want to be happy. I want my kids to be joyful with me and I want to soak in the moments that may be chaotic and messy, but I want to find the joy and focus on it and for once in my life enjoy my life.
This is something that I want to have with myself and with others, especially my children during home school time. I want to stop stressing about curriculum, and tests, and standards, and start getting to the heart issues in myself and with my big kids. I want to stop rushing through each day and checking things off my mental list and I want to really give all of myself in schooling my kids with high expectations but in a calm manner. I want to stop feeling so frazzled and take my time to appreciate how great my kids are instead of focusing on what irritates me.
One of the best parts of the gospel message is that God extends his love and forgiveness towards us while we were still a hot mess. He loved us when we were dirty and unclean. He saw the potential. He had a plan of redemption for us because He wanted to be close to us. I want to have that same grace for the people around me (friends and family and strangers) when they least deserve it. I want to stop keeping score or reasons for why I am upset or hurt and just love on people.
Is it weird that I want more time? I do! I want to prioritize my time better and find more time to be quiet with God, to exercise, to journal, and to read books that inspire me. As a mom of 4 I often do not have time for myself unless John is home, but I want to learn a way to make time for these things so that I can be a more balanced person and so I can be giving my best to my littles, my husband, and the Lord.
I was talking about this with my dear friend, and its really important to me to find ways to serve with my kids. Whether it be visiting the nursing home with my kids, helping a neighbor when they need help, raising money for a missionary, whatever it may be I want to teach my kids the importance of serving others and so I want to find ways to serve with them alongside of me. I want to raise kids who are aware of others around them. I want them to be sensitive to the needs of the elderly, the poor, the sick, the less fortunate. One way I know I can involve my kids is when I am making a meal for a friend, I can have the kids help me make cards or bake for them. This way they are a part of the process.
I want to be a more compassionate person. Whenever I am struggling in my own life, my problems seem so little compared to the bigger more drastic problems in today's society. If I am looking for ways to be a blessing to others then I can't be focusing on my problems and whining or complaining. I can use my energy to make someone else's life a bit sweeter. I can pray for others. I can put myself in their shoes and imagine what their life is like.
This year I really want to work on myself and improve and change and be better, not just so I can say, look, I'm working on myself...but so that during my own transformation hopefully I can inspire my kids, encourage them, and teach them in a positive, healthy way. I really just want to use this time that I am a stay at home mom for God's glory... I don't want to miss this opportunity.