25 February 2013

The Beauty of Having Bi-racial children

Julia (5)Mark (3)
If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times..."What nationality are you?"  or "What ARE you?" or "Are you Puerto Rican or Dominican?"  sometimes people will just start speaking spanish to me, to which I just smile and say, "I don't know Spanish."

Both my mom's parents are from the West Indies, Barbados to be exact, and my Father's grandma was french and all I know about my Father's grandfather is that he was very dark skinned.

Hence, I have two parents who are light-skinned like me.

My two sisters,  parents, and my hubby and kids
My family is made up of every color combination possible.  I have uncles with pale skin, and dark skin, I have aunts with caramel skin, and aunts with golden skin, I have a freckled grandma with reddish hair, and a dark skinned grandma with dark hair.  My family is a complete rainbow of people...I used to feel very lost in my family.  I didn't know where I fit in.  I used to tell people when I was little (like 3 or 4)  "I'm not black, I'm peach!"  Boy, I was so confused about race.

Then, in high school I was minding my own business, when this Italian/Irish boy kept stalking me! (LOL)  He was in the same homeroom as me.  Kristi McKinney and John McInerney.  I read the morning announcements each morning, and instantly (come on who could blame him) he fell in love.  Honestly, I think he once told me he never knew anyone who could be so awake and so excited at 7am to read some boring announcements.

John's Dad's side of the family...The McInerney's (Grandma Sue had 5 children)

When John and I dated, race was NEVER an issue between us.  It was an issue with some of our family members not our parents, both sets of our parents never mentioned race being an issue, but we NEVER cared what other family members thought.  To us, love was all that mattered.  We never even considered not dating because of our race differences.  After all it was 1996 at the time and it was the 50s or 60s.  I can't imagine what my grandparents parents went through.

Julia with my Grandma Corrine and our cousins Cydne and Cheyenne
My Grandma from the West Indies recently turned 80...she had 7 children...2 sons and 5 daughters.  My grandma is the freckled, red head of the family...she is my favorite person because she brought God into all of our lives.  Race is never an issue with my grandma.  She raised her family in Spanish Harlem and has been around all nationalities.  Jesus is what shines through in her life.  She has never treated me or my children any differently because I married a white guy.  I'm very thankful for her.

At the beach with my side of the family

And then John and I got married...and the children came...and they were treated like gold on both sides.  Mark with his pale skin and red hair, and blue eyes.  And Julia with her light brown hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.  Both my kids are starting to get freckles like me.

Like I said, we do have family members who don't agree with us being married to this day.  We've heard comments behind our back, to our face, and every which way....same with the world.  Although the world has been kinder.  Usually people come up to us and compliment on how beautiful our kids are, although there's always an exception. I'll never forget being in church one Sunday a few years ago holding my 6 month old son, and a woman came up to me and said, "He looks nothing like you." and she walked away.  I stood there dumbfounded.  Like, thanks for your two cents.  I know both my kids have fair skin, but they DO look like me, thank you very much!  They have my nose, my lips, my freckles, my eye shape...and my smile!!!

Those very same people who have gone out of their way to tell me who my kids look like have come back and said, "I do see you in your kids!" Gee, thanks!  

The beauty of having bi-racial children is this...you just never know what they are going to look like.  You can't predict hair color, hair texture, eye color, skin tone...nothing.  I have no idea how my little guy is going to look.  It makes me really excited to meet him and find out!

Mark fell asleep on my cousin!!!

I've come to realize that people who have race issues are the ones with the issues, not us.  We surround ourselves, and always will with people who truly love us no matter what we look like.  And the people we've had to confront in our family because of a negative attitude or an issue about our marriage have chosen not to be around us...and guess what, that is THEIR choice.  I think it's pretty silly.  We all have feelings, we all have red blood, and we all have tears.  People will always always remember how you make them feel and so it has always been important to us to stand up for what we believe in and stand up for our family...because we think our children are pretty great...regardless of their race.

And I'm so thankful for a husband who isn't afraid, ashamed, or intimidated when it comes to my race.  Because believe it or not, he gets more flack from my side of the family, than the other way around.  He is so comfortable within himself, so sure of who he is in the Lord, that he could really care less what other people think or say!  I LOVE that about him!

I'm so thankful for my beautifully bi-racial children...they make us smile everyday!



  1. Maybe this baby will have blonde curly hair! ;) I love the anticipation before giving birth of wondering what a new baby will look like. Can't wait to see the pictures of little Micah!

  2. Congrats on the upcoming baby! I thank God for people like you who make known your experiences in your relationship and with your children because of race driven ignorance. My husband and I share your experiences! Your positive response is such an encouragement. Thanks for sharing! I would love to have you guest blog about this topic sometime over at my place if you are interested.


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