30 August 2011

So What IS the Difference?

Guest writer:  John McInerney (the husband)
“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
King David - Psalm 139:13

God knew exactly what He was doing when He made men.  This is my son Mark after he came home from the hospital.    He started as a microscopic cell, like all of us, but within that cell are the biological instructions given by our Creator that would make him unique.   About 6 weeks after his conception there was a spike in a particular chemical that makes all men what they are, TESTOSTERONE. 

This hormone actually damages the walnut-shaped brain and alters its structure.  The corpus callosum, which connects the two hemispheres of the brain, is made less efficient.  Thus men have to think longer about what we believe especially thoughts regarding emotion.  Women are more articulate than men and are able to express themselves much more clearly and efficiently.  (So men, when we do not respond fast enough – we can now argue brain damage).  We then take a second Testosterone bath at puberty, where we have 15x more testosterone than women. 

And because of this chemical, we like to do one thing – dominate.  We must be the best.  We must win.  You can jump 3 feet high – I’ll go 4.  You can jump your bike over 2 garbage cans, I’ll do 3.  You can fly a plane to the next state, I’ll take that thing around the world!!! 

Out of the Fortune 500 companies, 493 are men.  We need to be in charge.  If women were to get together to go skeet shooting, the first woman to shoot one out of the sky would be engulfed in applause, excitement and words of encouragement from the other women.  Men, when we go shooting, if another guy blasts one before us, the first thing we do is start talking trash just to intimidate them so that we can start our conquering verbally before we get to it physically.  We talk smack, and we don’t stop trying until we win.  Like Sensei John Kreese says, “second place is no place.”

We are risk takers, we men.  We can’t help it.  We are chemically predisposed to putting it all on the line.  Look at our heroes:

Arnold Schwarzenegger – COMMANDO

One guy against an army – out numbered, yes, a sucide mission, yes, does he go, absolutely!

Bruce Lee - Game of Death

 5’7” – 135lbs.  Takes on Kareem Abdul Jabar – 7’2” – 267lbs.  – Not a problem!

Not only do we have much more testosterone, but we have much less Serotonin.   This chemical carries information from once nerve cell to another and helps people control their impulsive behavior and facilitates good judgment.  Case in point – tonight Mark was pushing his carriage in the middle of the street tonight with all of the neighborhood kids playing, Dad wants to show off (testosterone) so he jumps over the carriage and Mark (lack of Seretonine) and lands on Marks head.  Mark falls down crying, Kristi sees it, I plead brain damage. 

So are women chemically superior?  Mentally advanced?  The more perfect of the sexes?  Au Contraire!  Men and women are exactly as God made them, the perfect complement.  James Dobson says in this chapter:
“…the sexes were carefully designed by the Creator to balance one another’s weaknesses and meet one another’s needs.”

Women are nurturing, caring, sensitive, they make fewer mistakes, take fewer risks, are better students and are more thoughtful and less impulsive.
My wife is the most thoughtful and encouraging person I have ever met in my life.  Her words transform me to be able to accomplish things I never thought possible.  For the last 2 years I have had the most difficult time in a new career.  I have an extremely high pressure job in Finance and she never fails to leave me notes of encouragement, text me words of love and appreciation and never fails to let me know how much she treasures me and my efforts.  I could never do what I do without her love and support.  She is my rock. 
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”  Proverbs 31:10

Men value change, take charge, love adventure, seek opportunity, physically protect and provide for their families. 

When my son hit his head on the coffee table and we had to rush to the hospital, Kristi made me just as nervous as Mark’s bloody head.  She was so shocked at the sight.  I started barking out processes and procedures for the most efficient way to stop the bleeding, get in the car, organize family to watch Julia all within 8.5 seconds.   Men protect, men get things done. 

However, men are not supposed to just be manly.  I think our culture swings from extremes.   Ultra manliness says men do not cry.  Feminists say gender lines should be taken down so men become more like women.  I think a good man is one who exhibits his Testosterone in a way that also exhibits his love and affection.  Jesus wept with people and His loving words lifted up the downtrodden hearts of those who were hurting and needed it most. 
My prayer is that Kristi and I can raise Mark to be a man who is strong, competitive, and aggressive but also compassionate, loving, and encouraging. 



  1. I had no idea about the brain altering in men in the womb...That is such a great fact to know. I absolutely loved this post John & Kristi. I feel continually inspired whenever I read a post on your blog. You are such amazing parents and have such an amazing family!

  2. Great post John :) Just to let you know, you and Kristi are truly a blessing and an encouragement. Way to set an example for a God-centered marriage and family.

  3. I agree wholeheartedly with the previous comments...this is a great post and you both are great parents. This blog is a blessing! xoxo C

  4. That profile picture is STUNNING! <3


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