23 August 2011

Vive La Difference

We are continuing our read in Bringing up Boys by Dr. James Dobson.

Chapter 2: Vive La Difference

There are no differences between boys and girls besides the fact that they have different private body parts.  They are exactly alike, it is us who give them pink toys or blue toys, or dolls or trucks that make them to be male or female, or masculine or feminine, right?  Wrong!

Boys and Girls are different!  Not just physically, but socially, mentally, etc.  And the reason I know is not only because I am a mom of a daughter and a son, but because I taught children for 7 years!And not to mention I babysat from the age of 11 years old, so I have a lot of experience with children.  I can remember to this day the notes my girls would write to me and the hugs after class I would get.  I can remember the chocolates the boys students would give me on holidays.  I remember the girls dotting their i's with hearts, and the neat handwriting.  I can remember the chicken scratch and barely legible homework assignment from boys.  I remember the boys watching the clock tick before recess or gym class, and the girls at the edge of their seats as I read a novel to the class.  I can remember the boys cheering loudly when I gave free time, and the girls giggling and passing notes.  Boys and Girls are different!!!

All children are unique, of course!  But we are all made in the image of God and He made male and female!  He made distinct differences and preferences and personalities.  Isn't it funny that there are feminist out there and people who don't have children or even work with children but have strong opinions on the fact that we should have a "gender-neutral" approach, is there any wonder why so many of our children are so mixed up?  Now don't get me wrong, Mark plays with Julia's toys and Julia plays with Mark toys, kids should be able to explore, BUT we as the parents of children have a huge responsibility to shape and mold our children and teach them how God made them unique and how God has a divine plan for men and women.  There isn't one gender, God distinctly made male and female for a purpose.

Julia...Female...3 1/2

She loves to sit and read.

She can draw and write for hours on end.

Her imagination has no limits.  She thinks up stories and plots and characters and acts them out with her dolls.

She loves wearing dresses, headbands, jewelry, nail polish, and lip gloss.  Her favorite colors are pink and purple.

She could stare at her image in the mirror for hours.  She loves combing her hair and making it just so.

When she wakes up she already has a plan of how she plans on spending her day.

She is strong willed, independent, social, friendly, outgoing, and loud!

Mark...Male...2 years old

Loves to ride his bike outside...loves to be outside, cries if he cannot be outside, cries if he sees kids playing outside and can't join them.

Enjoys hearing stories, but likes to walk around as he listens.

Loves to snuggle with mom or dad while sucking his thumb and holding his blanket.

His favorite color is blue or green.  He's very shy.  He enjoys painting and making a huge mess!

Loves playing with his big sister and mimicking how she plays.

Likes to color but gets bored of it easily.

Likes to make crafts but would rather cover the project in glue stick.

Loves the computer.  Cries if it's not his turn.  Wants to figure out how to use the "mouse".  Loves to hear the character talk on the screen.

Still cries when I drop him off at nursery.  He stops after 2-3 minutes, but parting with Mommy is still very difficult.

Dr. Dobson says, "Shield both your sons and daughters from gender feminism and from those who seek to confuse their sexuality.  Protect the masculinity of your boys, who will be under increasing political pressure in yours to come.  Buffer them from the perception that most adult males are sexual predators who are violent and disrespectful to women."

 My job as a parent is to teach Julia and Mark that God has made them so special.  That He loves them and has such big plans for them.

My job is also to teach my children how to love each other.  I want them to be best friends.  I want them to encourage and bless each other.  I want them to share and take turns.  I want them to see the good qualities that the other one has.  This may mean when Mark does something really well, complimenting him, and making sure Julia hears that, so next time he does something great she will compliment him and vice versa.  You can already hear Mark tell Julia, "you're beautiful Julia!"  why?  because mommy and especially daddy tell Julia how beautiful she is, and vice versa with Mark's handsomeness!  Julia is always telling mark, "I like your hair, you look handsome boy!"  Sunday mornings as we all get ready for church compliments are going back and forth!

But we can obviously also focus on our child's gifts and talents...Julia is great at reading, and writing and drawing and we tell her so!  Mark is awesome at riding his bike and building tall castles and we tell him so!  He is also great with deep voices and being super funny!

Genesis 1: 27 God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

Both our children play with each other's toys, it's just a fact of life for us.  Mark carries dolls around and we tell him he is going to be such a great daddy, and Julia plays with trains and we say she is quite the conductor.

James Dobson says, "Accept your child just the way he/she is made.  Then look for those special qualities that give your boy/girl individuality and potential.  Nurture him/her.  Culitivate him/her.  And then give them time to develop into their own unique personality like no other human being on earth."

Boys and Girls ARE different! Praise God for that!  I love having a daughter and a son and seeing how unique they both are!  What a challenge it is to raise children!  I need all the help I can get!


  1. Oh yes, they are different. SO different! Even though our two girls have very different natures, there are such obvious differences between them and our 2 boys: one thing is just as you say - nice, neat writing; nice colours on their new notebooks; everything 'just so' in their homeschool 'files'. The boys?? Er,. no.... definitely not 'just so'... unless you mean, 'just so utterly messy'!

  2. Love this book! And love this post! So glad you are doing it Kristi. xoxo C


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