With that being said, I have discovered one of the secrets to my insecurity. One of them being that I like to be "in control" of others when it affects me. And Beth Moore talks about this in her So Long Insecurity book in chapters 11 & 12 (we discussed this in my Ladies Bible study this week).
"We are not in charge. Somewhere along the way, we each have to acknowledge that our loved one is a separate person from us--someone God loves, pursues, and when necessary, chastises. When we try to do God's job, we get in God's way. We are called to cherish, support, and pray for others, but tying our security to them is a lost cause. That knot we keep tightening is no more fair to them than it is to us. Hand that rope over to God. Let Him undo that tangled-up mess and retie your security to Himself. He's the One with the power."Beth Moore is so wise because I didn't realize that my relationships with certain family members were strained because of me. They were strained because I was tying my security up in their choices in life and how they affect me. I was making their life about my life, when let's be honest, I need to focus on my own! I finally have freedom to let my loved ones live the life they choose, consequences and all, and still LOVE them, CHERISH them, SUPPORT them, and PRAY for them. My job will never be to distance myself, judge them, or give up on them. And for me that is true freedom. God is big enough and loves them more than I ever could, and I need to get out of the way and let HIM be God and not try to control things.
I am thankful for this book because I never realized why my actions were wrong, I just knew I didn't like the strain in the relationships. Now I am free to cherish, support, and pray for the people I love instead of criticizing, critiquing and judging (and I do all of these things in my head...I'm not bold enough to even say things out loud...but the mind and our thoughts are still places we can sin in).
I am secure in Jesus and His love for me and my relationship with Him. I need to focus on Him and concentrate on healing my mind and my thoughts.
Beth Moore says, "The healing of the mind requires far more intimacy with Christ than the healing of mere bodies. He rarely snaps His fingers and whitewashes our thoughts because, were it so easy, we'd turn around and open them to destruction again. Instead He chooses to transform our willing minds one reflection at a time."So I am starting right now. The fears that haunt me I am going to tell God about. I'm not going to replay them in my mind. I am going to pray them to God and let them go! I am going to ask Him to give me the thoughts and words He wants me to focus on (which means I need to be reading the Bible and praying). This is knowledge with power.
I will be asking God to renew my mind and change me!
Change me Lord. Give me your security! Renew my mind.