25 September 2013

Good Mom/Bad Mom

Am I Messing Up My Kids? by Lysa Terkeurst

My Wednesday Book Club

A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "Where Mother is."
Yesterday at MOPS we had such an amazing video/topic on Avoiding Mothering Comparisons that I have to share what I learned with you (maybe tomorrow?) It was so so so good to sit there and soak up all the truths about how we as moms need to be better at how we talk to each other, stop competing, and just really be the best moms we can be without feeling like failures because we don't live up to someone else's Pinterest page.  We can all be Mommy of the Day without making another mom feel less than.

This week's chapter: Is it possible to escape the Good Mom/Bad Mom trap?

This chapter so resonates with me because I am SO incredibly guilty of having ups and downs during the day (emotionally wise) because of setting such high expectations for myself and for my kids.  It is very damaging and can be so discouraging because of course I want to be Good Mom all day long, but I constantly feel like Bad Mom because I am not able to cross off all the things on my list of to-dos.  Have you noticed that the more kids you have the longer the list gets?  And the older your kids get the longer the list gets because you have so many more out of the home activities and commitments.

So one minute I am praying with my kids that Daddy will have traveling mercies flying to Chicago...GOOD Mom...and the next minute I am yelling at Mark for being so whiny...BAD Mom.  We finish all of our homeschool subjects-GOOD Mom....I never got to clean out the fridge or go through Mark's summer clothes...BAD Mom.

For me, this goes on all day long...how do I get out of this vicious cycle?  How do we as moms get through the day feeling peaceful and sane and not a hot, crazy mess? Please Lysa...tell us how?

"Not that we are all on the edge of a breakdown,  but we all live in a place of utter dependence on God.  As a mom, I live in constant need of His love, encouragement, wisdom, perspective, strength, patience, and grace."  --Lysa
Lately I have been so overwhelmed.  After dinner I start to panic and pray that John will hurry up and get home because I am just so done.  I'm so over tired.  I feel so spent.  I feel like I can't give one minute more.  And it's those days I know I've been trying to do it all in my strength.

"Anything I do right as a mom is because of my constant dialogs with God.  Anything I do wrong as a mom is because of trying to do things in my own strength." --Lysa

Why do I wait to call on God for help?  Why do I think I can do it all?  Am I that prideful?  I am really asking God to slow me down and help me to do things in His strength so that I can have more peaceful days.  Nope they won't be perfect...they never are...but with God's help they won't leave me feeling so overwhelmed and so close to a breakdown!

Also another important point...Lysa reminded us in this chapter we are never a "Bad mom"  we may have a bad moment or two, or three, or more...but those moments do not define us as a bad mom.  I will never forget a mother's day card from my sweet mentor/forever friend Christy Weaver after I had Julia...she said "Kristi, God made you the perfect mom for Julia.  Nobody else can parent her the way you can.  God chose you to be her mom!"  Those sweet words of truth have gotten me through a lot of rough mommy days.

"You are a good mom, my friend...even if like me you have had a few bad moments.  You are exactly the mom God knew your children needed.  Live that truth today."--Lysa


  1. Kristi, I love God and His timing. I had one of those days today. Our 3rd homeschooling day this year turned into hell. Lots of whining and yelling and grumbling. Ugh! The kind of day when I question why I am doing this. What's more is that Maury is home recovering and watching me fail and probably wondering if we are doing the right thing. I took a nap while dinner was in the oven and when I woke I found your blog. It was just a great encouragement knowing I am not alone and that God loves me through it all. Thanks again for being that light in my dark day. Love, Michelle

  2. Thank you!!! I thinks a lot of us needed this post :)

  3. Michelle, thank you for your sweet comment. God does have perfect timing, doesn't He? I'm so glad I was able to be of some help, that makes me feel like my writing does have a positive purpose. I will be praying for you. We all have days like that. You are not alone.


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