Book Club Wednesday
Lysa Terkeurst
Chapter 5: Exploders
I did not expect to get such a big response about Chapter 4. Many of you shared that you are both stuffers and exploders! I think it definitely depends on the person or people you are dealing with and the situation.
Many of you shared how frustrating it is to be an exploder because once the explosion is over it may have felt good to "get it out" but the guilt you feel afterward just isn't worth it, not to mention hurting people we love.
This chapter solely focused on the exploder. I am definitely both a stuffer and an exploder at times. I am much more comfortable stuffing, but when I just can't take it anymore or and at my peak of stress or anxiety...WATCH OUT! An explosion will ensue. And I really hate that about myself. I never even know when it is going to happen...and forget when I am pregnant. The hormones....oh, Lord Jesus, help me with the hormones!
I like how in this chapter Lysa shared that she struggled with not being able to function after a disagreement with someone through texting. She was so frazzled she couldn't even put her shirt on the right way! She ended up at Target with her shirt on inside out, and the check out lady HAD to mention it.
Have you ever been frazzled by someone's words?
Have you ever tried to call back to fix things only to make matters worse?
Did you explode instead of become the peacemaker?
And afterwards did you get so mad at yourself for not being more calm and patient?
I hear you!
Lysa says, "Raw emotions won't sit quietly awaiting further instructions. They'll move outward if we explode and inward if we stuff."
That's the tough part about emotions. WE can't control them. They are so unpredictable and complicated.
And the shame and regret afterwards only makes matters worse. What do we do with that guilt and shame we feel after we explode? Do we use it to motivate us to be calmer next time? Do we use it to help us to not want the shame to be our reality next time?
Lysa says, "Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle the regret."
I like how in this chapter Lysa shared that she struggled with not being able to function after a disagreement with someone through texting. She was so frazzled she couldn't even put her shirt on the right way! She ended up at Target with her shirt on inside out, and the check out lady HAD to mention it.
Have you ever been frazzled by someone's words?
Have you ever tried to call back to fix things only to make matters worse?
Did you explode instead of become the peacemaker?
And afterwards did you get so mad at yourself for not being more calm and patient?
I hear you!
Lysa says, "Raw emotions won't sit quietly awaiting further instructions. They'll move outward if we explode and inward if we stuff."
That's the tough part about emotions. WE can't control them. They are so unpredictable and complicated.
And the shame and regret afterwards only makes matters worse. What do we do with that guilt and shame we feel after we explode? Do we use it to motivate us to be calmer next time? Do we use it to help us to not want the shame to be our reality next time?
Lysa says, "Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle the regret."
I love that! Basically she is saying weigh the consequences because the regret you feel afterwards is NEVER worth it and you can't take it back after the fact.
Not to sound corny, but we should be busy loving each other, making and keeping the peace, pouring on kindness and blessings, not dumping and exploding even if the other person "deserves it", even if we are in "the right."
Whenever I open my mouth....words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.
WE must all carefully consider our words to each person. People are not the enemy. Try to see the BIGGER picture. Trust me, I am speaking to myself more than to any of you out there. I really really needed this reminder today.
Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.You know what often happens in this life? We put each other on the enemy side. We put family members, the annoying lady at the library, the rude man at the gas station, and the sassy mom at the park as our enemy. We explode on each other we dump on each other and we don't even realize who our real enemy is. Every time we explode and we hurt the other person, we make Satan so very happy. That is just what he wants. To side track us, to cause disunity, and to make people the enemy when HE is the only enemy.
Not to sound corny, but we should be busy loving each other, making and keeping the peace, pouring on kindness and blessings, not dumping and exploding even if the other person "deserves it", even if we are in "the right."
Ephesians 6:19 Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.I love this verse!
Whenever I open my mouth....words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.
WE must all carefully consider our words to each person. People are not the enemy. Try to see the BIGGER picture. Trust me, I am speaking to myself more than to any of you out there. I really really needed this reminder today.
Instead of Exploding
1. Begin by honoring the one offended.
2. Keep your response short and full of grace.
3. End by extending compassion.
Lysa reminds us that choosing a gentle reply does not mean you're weak.
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