07 May 2011

Happy Mother's Day

Thinking back to all the beautiful moments of when I first became a mom are really neat.  Some of them seem so long ago really, and yet my Julia was born just 3 1/2 years ago...but my, time sure does fly!

I have such vivid memories of bringing Julia home, all the excitement of dressing her up, and doing her hair, and playing with her were put to the side as I got the reality of caring for a newborn, the late night feedings, the soreness, the the sleep deprivation, worrying every time she sneezed or coughed, asking a million questions of friends and family members.  Hoping I was doing it all right, and praying I wouldn't do anything wrong.  When you are pregnant for 9 months you just can't wait to meet your son or daughter, and then once they are here you can't wait to get to know them and see what they will do!  I remember worrying at each milestone hoping Julia would hurry up and talk or walk, and being so excited for her to roll over or crawl.  And forget that first smile!  What a treat and sight to behold, and the first laugh, first word.  It is all such an incredible gift.

The first time I held Julia I couldn't get over how BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT she was, I mean, how did God do that!  And she came out of my body!!! Whoa.  There is a God who creates these perfect little people with tiny noses, fingers and toes!

You stare and inspect each little part of them just amazed that this little person was inside of you.  And Julia was my kicker, she was always so strong and assertive of her needs and wishes.  I couldn't get over her strength and her eyes and her lips.

And then when Julia was just about 8-9 months old, God decided we would be ready for Baby number 2!  I had a feeling from the start this was either a very quiet baby, or a boy, because this baby moved so gently barely kicking me ever, just sort of going with the flow but certainly there! 

What an amazing miracle that the two babies I prayed for those 9 months before Julia, my Julia and my Mark would be in our lives so soon.  Julia in Dec 2007 and Mark in May 2009.

But I clearly remember the sadness I felt driving to my prayer partner Debi's house the day Mark was to be born (I felt contractions but since this was baby number 2 I was relaxed and calm and knew I would have time to finish my Bible study and have the baby later that day!) because I thought to myself, "How can I love another baby the way that I love my Julia?  I adore her.  This isn't fair to her!  She's only 17 months old...but the minute Mark floated into my arms (during my water birth!!!) with his beautiful red hair...oh my the LOVE was there!  Isn't is so neat that God gives you so much LOVE for your child, so much LOVE the minute you feel them move inside you, the minute you hold them and hear their cry, you are in LOVE and ready to meet their needs.

And then you are a family.  You are a family instantly.  And you love each member in a very special way, and you can't imagine life without any of them, not for a minute.  You want to know at all times where they are, what they are doing, how they are feeling, if they are happy, you just love them.  They are yours.  They are your babies.  It doesn't matter how big they get, how grown up they are.  They are your babies forever. 
God what an incredible gift you have allowed us to have, to be mothers.  To bear children, to make a family, to say I love you.

  To feel safe in the arms of your mom.  To hold her and love her, and say thank you for all she has done.  Moms sacrifice so much for us.  And you don't even realize how much they give up, do without out, don't get to sleep until you become one, and then you realize, and all you want to do is call her Saint Mom for all she has done and put up with, because now you do it and you just get it and understand how hard it was.  You start to understand why she looked tired, or was so strict, or made certain rules, because she cared, she loved you.

She brought you into this world.  She had the strength to raise you, and feed you, and clothe you, correct you, teach you and discipline you.  And she loved you.  She was never perfect.  But she was Mom.  You knew deep down she loved you and you never felt safe with anyone the way mom made you feel.  I can remember loving the smell of my mom's perfume on her scarf.  She used to drop me off at daycare and I would ask to keep her scarf so that I could have a piece of her with me.  Moms just make you feel safe.

They allow you to dance, sing silly songs, make mistakes, wear layers of foo foo skirts, and just let your hair down and be yourself.

And sometimes you get to have more than one mom.  You have all those moms who don't even realize you look up to them as a mom.  Women you admire and look up to because of who they are and what they stand for.  Women who love God and put Him first in your life, women who teach you how to do the same.  Women who pray with you and cry with you and support you through difficult times, and celebrate with you in the great times.

And let us not forget our Mother in Laws who drop everything to care for us when we are sick or need an extra hand.  Who are willing to watch the grand kids or clean our house, or go grocery shopping for us.  Moms who call us to check on us or who pick up our favorite book.  Moms who sacrifice time and money to show that they care.  Moms who celebrate with us and stand along side us when we need them.

Mommy, I love you! Happy Mother's Day!

Julia and Marky, Mommy loves you!  And I promise to really try to be a good Mommy each day, one day at a time, with God's help!  Because sometimes mommy really needs HIS HELP A LOT!  But you make my life wonderful, each moment is full and there is never a dull one around here!  Thanks for making me a Mommy!

1 comment:

  1. You brought me to tears. This is absolutely beautiful!


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