"Mom, tell me the whole story..."/The Scariest Day of my life

Bleeding

There is one thing no pregnant woman ever wants to see or feel during her pregnancy and that is blood because that could mean you are miscarrying the precious one that you have been planning for.

And yet that is exactly what I saw and what happened to me yesterday while shopping at Costco with my kids.

I'm going to cut to the chase and tell you now that the baby is absolutely fine.  Trust me I saw him/her on the ultrasound jumping all around and the heart beat moving.  But for 2 hours I had to wait before I knew this and it was the L O N G E S T two hours of my life.

It was just a regular morning, breakfast, laundry, dishes, getting kids dressed for the day, school for an hour, and then off for some errands...our last errand was Costco because we needed Soy Milk and Dish Washer Detergent and I promised the kids a special treat for behaving so well: Churros!  They were so excited.  I got in line, paid for our things, and then headed to get our food.  We sat down, started eating, I took two bites of my food when I felt a gush and I KNEW then and there I was bleeding and that I needed to get home asap.

Packed the kids up, got in the car, tears rolling down my face, the only thing I could think of was call John, call John, call the doctor, but I waited til I got home and saw for myself and sure enough I saw blood.  I called John in NYC and I was totally hysterically, the front door was still open the kids kept asking, "Why are you crying mommy, it's ok."  John told me to call Dr. G or he would and make an appointment.  I must've did that next.  It was 11:20 or so and I called my sister in law next, she's the closest to me and the fastest driver, and when I call her, she drops everything and just comes.  I started to tell her what happened and she immediately said, "I'll be right there."  Have I told you lately how amazing my SIL is?  OH my word, what would we have done if we had moved far away from all our family?

By the time my SIL got there it was 11:30 and my appt was at noon, and I had a 30 min drive to the dr.  I then began calling a few friends to pray and my prayer partner said, "Do you want me to come with you and hold your hand?"  Yes!  I did not want to be alone.  She met me there.  Thank goodness for Debi.

So I am in the car bawling my eyes out and coming to grips with the fact that my pregnancy is over, I lost the baby, I was expecting the worst but hoping for the best, and God and I had a chance to talk and He told me how He loved me and the baby more than I could imagine, that He was in control, that  I was not alone, and that I needed to be content with the people in my home that I already have, that maybe He had other plans for us.  I wasn't happy about it, but I was coming to grips with the fact that maybe this was supposed to happen, and that we would be okay.

I get to the doctor's office and the receptionist says, "Everyone is out to lunch you have to wait til 1:00."  Okay, I'm so glad I rushed and got there at 12:09...Debi came and we just hugged together, she let me cry for a bit and then we just talked like normal til 12:45 when they ushered me in...

Then the nurses questions came...

1. Is this your first pregnancy?  (No, I have two kids)
2. Have you ever miscarried before? (No)
3. How much bleeding what did it look like? ( a gush, I'm not bleeding anymore)
4. Are you cramping? (No)
5. When was the last time you had intercourse? (REALLY????) Poor Debi, but we sure had a good laugh after that one. 

Then I had to change and Dr. Burke came in...not my doctor but very very nice.

He explained how he was going to check me for any more bleeding and then do an ultrasound.  Good news: bleeding had totally stopped.  Wonderful news: My cervix was long and still in place. (During a miscarriage it starts to thin out and mine was 5cm long he said, optimal and strong!! Yay.)  Then the ultrasound...BEST MOMENT ever:  Baby was jumping, kicking, and moving all around and heart rate was 150 bpm.  Baby Mac is okay.  Baby Mac is okay.  I think that's when the tears came again and I kept saying Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord.  I guess my doctor knows I'm a believer now.

At this point doctor told me he can't give me any answers that the baby looked perfect, my placenta looked great, etc, etc, and to keep my Sept 26 appt.  I got dressed.  Debi and I prayed a prayer of Thanksgiving, and then I drove home a happy woman.  I texted Laurie the good news at 1:20 pm and that I wanted to talk to the kids before they went to nap time to please keep them up, as if that would be a problem.  I came home to them playing with Uncle Kelsey and Aunt Laurie upstairs in the bedrooms where Mark was playing Hungry Hippo and Julia was styling Aunt Laurie's hair.

The minute the kids heard me walk in, they ran downstairs to greet me and kept asking, "Hows the baby? How's the baby?"  Why were you crying.  We all sat on the floor and then Julia did it...She put both her hands on my shoulders, looked me square in the face and said, "Mom tell me the WHOLE story."  She was so serious and so cute and so concerned.  WE all laughed and I told her almost everything but left out the bleeding part, I just said I could tell something was wrong with baby so I had to go to the doctor to check to make sure she was okay.

At this point all I wanted to do was lay down and rest but just as I was putting the kids down for their nap and kissing Laur and Kels good bye my Mom walked in, she was so worried.

I'm reminded today that nothing is promised to us.  That God is all I need.  That His love will sustain me through no matter what.  And that He is faithful.  I'm thankful baby is okay, and I've decided that he or she is definitely grounded for scaring me so, but we will wait for all of that...right now I just want to take it easy and allow the baby to grow healthy.  Will you pray that same prayer with me?