The Next Few Weeks...
For the sake of my sanity, the sacredness of my marriage and the constant need to be able to do it all but not be able to do it all because I am pregnant...I will not be blogging as frequently these next few weeks.
I am almost 35 weeks pregnant. We move out of our home in the next few weeks. The place that we have called home for the past 8 years. And we move to a new home all within this next month.
I am to the point in my pregnancy that bending, doing dishes, shaving, putting on one's sandals, etc, is no longer an easy feat. I am getting really tired, very emotional and rather bummed out at all the things I really "can't do" right now.
I am feeling for my husband who has so much on his plate with home repairs, working full time, and keeping up with the paper work and phone calls from our lawyer and realtors. There is so much to do be done and at times I feel like all I am really capable of doing is growing this baby and making sure the bigger kids are clean, fed, and happy.
So, if you happen to think of us, or miss us, or wonder what we are up to please pray for us. We have so much going on it's kind of like our "December", you know the busiest time of the year with shopping, wrapping, parties, etc, when all you really look forward to is January 1st to be able to say you survived it all. Well, I am really looking forward to September. I am looking forward to our new home, another precious baby, and no more boxes to step over.
I have learned a very very valuable lesson through all of this. My faith is not as strong as I thought it was. I think we all think we have a deep strong faith in God and all that He has planned for us, but I have learned that when my faith is tested I usually find out just how weak I am and just how much I need Him, and just how much control I DON'T have.
I am learning that when things are normal it is easy to think you have a deep faith and trust God, but when you could be homeless, or you lose a job, or you lose a loved one, or when God somehow rocks your world and your faith is tested through the fire in that unhappy circumstance its then that God separates the men from the boys...and I have discovered that I am just a small boy and that I do not have the deep strong faith I thought I had. I struggle with trusting God. I struggle with agreeing with His will for my life. And I don't know what is best for me. I only think I do. So I guess these past few months God has really opened my eyes to my inner self and I am realizing just how much I need to work on and just how much more I need to rely on God and not myself.
I think these are all good lessons for me to learn and I'm glad to learn them now. Please pray for us as our family embraces many new challenges and changes these next few weeks.