08 June 2011

Finding a Balance

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, these are the roles that I play.  A wife to my husband John for almost 8 years in August.  A mom to Julia since 2007, and a mom to Mark since 2009.  A daughter to my wonderful mom and dad who have been married for almost 35 years!  A sister to Paletza and Sara biologically, and countless others whom I call my sisters in Christ at church and around the world.  A friend to all different types of people, from all different walks of life.  I call friend to people who I've known and loved for years, and people I've just met.  A friend is someone who you can relate to, encourage, see eye to eye on a matter or laugh at something together.  It's someone you can open up to and confide in, and trust with matters that concern you.  I call all of you who read my blog friends because you probably know more about me than most people!  I open up my heart to you each day as I'm finding my way through this busy life of mine.

Finding a balance in my marriage used to be really easy.  John and I have been together for a long time.  We think alike, we love the same things, our hearts are united and we truly love each others company.  My super close friends and family will tell you if I have a choice to do anything, it will always be to spend time with my John.  He's my soul mate, my best friend and my joy.  We've always struggled in finding the time.  Even in the beginning of our marriage time was scarce as I worked 7-3:30 and he worked 3:30-9.  Weekends have always been our blessing because during the week it is so hard to spend time.  Although even now when John comes home, no matter how tired I am, I really try to stay up as late as possible to be with him.  Whether its talking, cleaning together, making meals for the next day together, or watching a movie, we try not to waste the night hours.  I figure, I'll get the sleep I need one day, even if it's not today, God will somehow give me the rest I need.  But lately with two kids to care for I get soooo much more tired, and my energy and creativity is gone by 7pm, never mind by 8 or 9 when I may see him.  And so I struggle to find the balance of homemaker and wife.  How do I find the energy to do it all and be perky and fun when John gets home?  It's tough.

Finding a balance between these two little dolls of mine is getting easier.  Once I stopped nursing Mark (around 13 months) I found it easy to slip away with just my Julia and do things just me and her together.  It's important to find a balance between loving both your children equally and giving both the quality of time and attention and getting to know them.  What are their likes and dislikes?  What do they like to draw pictures of and talk about?  What movies or shows do they prefer?  What's their favorite book?  With my kids it is constantly changing and I'm always trying to know them better and seek for them to grow up feeling loved and cared for individually.  I don't want to show any favoritism.  Growing up in my house, my parents didn't mean to, and to this day they don't feel they did, but all three of us sisters felt the other was favored.  It happens unintentionally I think, but it does happen and it is something to be careful for.  Favoritism not only destroys the relationships around them but even the relationship between the parent gets skewed.  I also am trying to find a balance between school and fun.  Right now we are loving school.  I was going to stop school after my birthday (June 1st) but then I decided we are doing so many more field trips now and circle time every day, why stop now.  We are going to continue school through out the summer, and on busy days in the Fall/Winter, like around Thanksgiving and Christmas time we'll just skip those days or weeks since we've plowed through the summer.  (Circle Time post) and here.

I'm a daughter too.  Finding a balance in this department has become a breeze.  My parents are a pure joy to be around and actually I don't know what I'd do without them.  My dad and I go twice a month on a drive together to visit my grandpa in the nursing home and those visits are great because we have the car ride to share about what is going on in our lives.  My mom and I continue to grow close, she is my help always with the kids.  I can't even think of a time when she said no when I asked her to babysit.  She is always willing to help me and she is really great with the kids.  As a daughter it is important to me to visit often and keep communication lines open.  This has not always been easy, but the last 3 years God has really blessed us as a family.  Praise God!  Recently my favorite family memory was, during Christmas we went around the room and each of us shared a prayer request, then we all set our phones to ring at 1pm and when that alarm goes off we pray for each other by name.  I know the prayer requests of my Dad, Mom, Paletza, Sara, and John and by name and request I pray for them.  We've already seen God answer some of those prayers too!

I have two beautiful sisters.  Paletza is the oldest and Sara is the youngest.  Both my sisters have strong personalities and we all love the center of attention.  Sometimes this causes friction between us.  But God has also been working in this department.  We are all learning to allow each sister be herself, find her voice, and shine.  We are trying not to judge each other.  We are trying to do our best.  We are equally very hard on ourselves as we all strive to do great things and be successful, we work hard and we play hard.  Time and family are important to us.  And we are trying our best to be good sisters to each other.  Finding a balance in this area is more difficult because all of our time is limited.  Paletza and Sara both work full time at demanding jobs and as you know my full time job is at home.  So making each other a priority and reaching out to each other is a struggle but it is important. 

I'm taking this photo-my Ladies Bible Study Group on Tues.
Finding a balance with my friends, sisters in Christ, my blog friends, and my ministry--whew! It is a challenge!  But you are all so important to me!  Even if I am dead tired I will blog because what if one of you needs a word of encouragement?  I always want my friends to feel special!  I don't want to be that Mom/Wife that once she has a family neglects her friends.  Yes my time is more limited but finding a balance with my friends and finding ways to reach out and bless each of you, even if its a card, a smile, a text, a letter, time at the park, a phone call, whatever it is I want my friends to know I'm available and I want to be there for them.  See what I mean about finding a balance?  What is a girl to do?  So many important roles to play, so many people to love, and so much to do, how do we as women do it all?  Do men even think like this?  We seek to serve the people in our lives, it's our nature to nurture.   

How are you finding a balance in your life today?


  1. Awesome post! Balance is something I am always trying to work on. Sometimes I feel good and then sometimes I know the scales are shifting and if I am not careful, I'll fall. I love you my friend.

  2. Thanks suzette! So glad you were able to post today! I hope blogger stops acting up!!!

  3. It is so important to find balance! It's something I have to constantly adjust and think about, but it's so important. I'm glad you make time for blogging though!


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