16 November 2011

Bringing Up Boys: "Men R Fools"

I was surprised Dr. Dobson named this chapter, "Men are fools!" especially since he is a guy!

Dobson believes that in the late 60s the s*xual revolution and radical feminism "contributed mightily to masculine confusion today."

"Not only did traditional moral standards and beliefs begin to crumble, but the ancient code governing how men and women relate to each other was turned upside down."
Dobson believes that the feminist ideology really had/has a huge affect on our kids today.  "Everything that had been associated with maleness was subjected to scorn. Men who clung to traditional roles and conservative attitudes were said to be too "macho"."

I don't know about you but as a woman I love when John opens the door for me or allows me to sit on the subway while he stands.  But if men did those type of things they were ridiculed, or called chauvinistic pigs. I don't understand it at all.  I like to be treated like a woman.  As a matter of fact we are teaching Mark these types of behaviors now, "Ladies first!" is my battle cry to Mark when he is around other girls or his sister, ladies first at the water fountain, ladies first when going into the car seats.  I want Mark to grow up appreciating women and valuing them, and showing them honor.

Out of this feministic time period, there were writters and speakers who would say, "Men tend to emphasize values such as discipline, power, control, stoicism, and independence."  Feminist Karla Mantilla called it the trap of masculinity."

Are you confused yet?

In my opinion men and women ARE different.  Thank heavens!  Being a male isn't a trap it's God's design.  Being a woman isn't bad it's God's design.  We are made for each other and we compliment each other.

Many feminists view maleness as a trap of masculinity.  "A centerpiece of this hostility is seen in an ongoing effort to convince us that Men are fools."

These women believe that ALL men are immature, impulsive, selfish, weak, and not very bright.

As a woman of an amazing godly husband, and an adorable little boy, this not only troubles me, but it hurts me that men are viewed this way.  These feminists have obviously not met the wonderful men in my life who are bright, loving, self sacrificing,  strong and very very wise!

We see this type of "men are fools" syndrome in TV ads, sitcoms, and movies, where the men or husbands are portrayed as ignorant, stupid, lonely, over weight, with no common sense.

Dobson gave a list of commercials and examples from the media of how awfully men are portrayed.  And you know what this idea must sell because we all buy into it and start to believe that it is true.  This mentality that men are stupid and women are superior.  It's all over the internet now too, jokes about men.  This "never ending source of humor directed against men."  As a mother and a wife I really hate it.  I believe it's wrong.

Even as a teacher I used to have games where I would put boys against girls and would encourage the girls by saying, "Girl Power!"  But you know what that whole mentality of putting the opposite s@x down is wrong.  It's amazing how clearly I see that now that I have a son and would do anything to protect and encourage him.

These feminists were not only talking about men being fools, but our boys too, our sons..."they are the universal scapegoats, the clumsy clods with smelly feet who only care about sports and mischief."  NOT TRUE!

No wonder boys/men are confused about how to act today.  "They are told to be tough and not to cry, even when their environment might be awful.  This is an ironic insult in a culture that devalues men and fathers.  They're bullied by schools intolerant of boy behavior, told they're less special than girls and left by too-busy parents to the tutelage of peers, media, and superheroes who wreak havoc to settle scores."
It's obvious to me now that when we shortchange one s%x we are shortchanging both.  When we emphasize and highlight one we are hurting the other.  This can go either way and as adults and parents we have to be careful not to do this.  To me it's the same with race.  Yes God made us all different for a reason but not to belittle each other or make others feel less important or valued.  We can all be treated with respect and love.  Nobody should feel treated as if they are less than, not boys and not girls.

Maybe for so many years women were put down and this is the reaction and response to uplift women and girls, but to what price, devaluing and dumbing down our boys?

As a mom of a son and a daughter I'm going to pray for my children's future teachers in school, I'm going to pray for their Sunday school leaders at church and Awana that both my children are treated with love and respect.

Dobson ends by saying: "It should be clear now why I have devoted this chapter to a review of feminist ideology and the postmodern philosophy from which it has sprung.  It is because the proponents of these misguided and harmful ideas have become social engineers who are determined to reorder the way children think and to browbeat boys for being who God made them to be."
"It is moronic to continue insisting that one s$x is the victor while the other is the victim, which besides being untrue is dastardly in effect.  Boys made to feel superfluous, if not inferior, can't help but resent girls."



  1. I totally agree with you! In college I studied art and many of my own projects and writing had to do with gender. I love that my husband opens my door and provides for us out side the home so I can stay with our son. I plan to raise our son to value both his role as a male and the female role as well. Great post!

  2. I completely disagree with Dobson's view of feminism. My husband and I are both proud feminists and are shaking our heads completely by the quotes you've posted. Feminism is not about chivalry and opening doors. It's about equal rights. Notice I didn't say equal roles. If your family wants to establish different, distinct family roles that is fine. My family may operate differently. (For instance, my mom is the sole bread winner right now as my dad is on disability. I work full time while my husband finishes grad school.) Like I said, feminism is about equal rights. It isn't about putting down one sex and promoting another. It's about equality. As a woman, I should have the right to go to school, I should have the right to drive a car, I should have the right to live by myself, to vote, to choose when and with whom I'd like to have a family, etc. I should have the same rights that a male does. And it has not corrupted me into generalizing all men as immature, lazy, or dumb. The caricature of foolish men may be prevalent in media, but no more so than the pervasive idea that women are servants who clean the house and nag their husbands. That isn't fair either. I'm offended by his incorrect view of feminism and its aims. Your view of "Nobody should feel treated as if they are less than, not boys and not girls" is the equitable message that feminism wants to propagate.

  3. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and share your opinions. Perhaps we can agree to disagree.



Please leave an encouraging comment...I'd love to hear from you!

Related Posts with Thumbnails