Not Perfect, Nothing Fancy, Just Being A Mom
I never thought about how tiring motherhood would be. I never thought that there would be nights that I would just beg God to be able to crawl back to my bed so I could sleep. I didn't know that there would be vomiting in the middle of the night. No one told me that when your toddler would teethe they would get fevers, the runs, and super cranky! I didn't know that I would appreciate silence. I had no idea how much I would miss spontaneous weekend trips with the hubby, or naps in the middle of the day.
When John and I got married, children were not our first focus. We were young! We were 25 and ready to put our heart and soul into our careers, gain higher degrees, and travel the world. We were so excited to see places like Chichinitza in Mexico, and Hong Kong in China. I cried the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and I literally fainted in the Sistina Chapel in Rome (I should've brought extra water with me).
Our biggest projects were me finishing my Masters Degree, John going to Seminary, and furnishing our new home at Ethan Allen. We went to the movies every weekend, we held hands shopping down the streets of Barcelona, and I don't think we had a worry in the world...those first 5 years were so sacred. We were learning how to be husband and wife, we were setting up our home and we had goals and plans for the future.
Then, the baby bug bit me...
And it bit me hard.
And for about a year we tried to get pregnant and couldn't. It was awful. Our families were asking us when? and we were asking our doctors why?
God had a plan....but we didn't understand why we couldn't have a baby. And every woman I saw was holding a baby, or pregnant. It. Was. Torture.
Then in April of 2006 I took a pregnancy test...and our lives changed forever.
Being a Mom
Being a Mom has been the hardest transition and adjustment in my life. Teaching at school and excelling in my career was cake. Being a great wife to John and enjoying our marriage was easy. But the past 6 1/2 years of being a Mom has molded me and changed me and brought me to my knees before the Lord many a time. And that's a good thing! I just never would have known how hard it would be to be a parent.
I think my biggest struggle has been learning to S-L-O-W down and learning that I don't have to be perfect. Making mistakes and apologizing to John and my kids has been super humbling. I hate being wrong. I hate messing up. I hate not living up to my own expectations of what a Mother should be. In my mind someone between the cross of Julia Roberts, Martha Stewart, and Rachel Ray would be great! But my kids just have me...just Kristi Anne McInerney.
The best advice I have gotten as a mom has come from three very special women in my life:
Christy W.: You are the best mom for Julia. God made you just the way you are and no one could parent her better than you. (my first mother's day card from her)
Suzette L.: Your ministry right now, in this moment is to your family. Simplicity is best. You don't have to serve everyone else and be involved in other ministries which might take you away from your family. (when I had Julia and Mark and was way to involved with too many ministries at church and was feeling so overwhelmed and losing my focus as a mom)
Christy H.: Make sure your kids are clean and fed and that they know they are loved and stop worrying about all the rest. (that was right after I had Micah and I felt so torn between keeping up with everything)
Sometimes Being a Mom isn't perfect, it isn't fancy, it's just being a mom.
We clean, we cook, we change diapers, we do homework, we wipe down the same counter day in and day out. We shop for the same food every week. We clean toilets, we pick out clothes, we brush hair, we calm fears, we kiss boo boos. And all these things may not be AMAZING but they are all part of being a mom.
You know what? I like it. I'm learning. And I'm proud of how far I've come. Just Being a Mom.