03 December 2009
Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts. Point out anything you find in me that makes you sad, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Did you realize that the person you talk to the most throughout the day is...YOURSELF?
That's right you talk to yourself more than any other person.
This fact has become a lot more noticeable, and very damaging lately, to me since I've been a stay at home mom. I think because before as a teacher I was doing a lot of positive talking to my students, teachers, faculty members, administrators, parents, and friends.
Now as a stay at home mom, even though I see John more we are really in two different directions with him working at home in the mornings before heading into work and me running the household and taking care of little ones. So, I really do a lot of talking to myself, and lately, God has really convicted me, through the help of a dear friend also, that I haven't been talking very nice to myself.
I am one of those people who set very high standards and expectations not only for others, but for myself, and if I don't see what I view to be as correct I can be super critical, and lately I've been really mean to...me.
I say things to myself that are not true and really difficult things. I'd give examples but I don't think it would be very edifying. I am becoming a lot more aware of my words to myself. I am trying to live with more grace for myself and others. I believe that we serve a God of grace and if he forgives and loves unconditionally then even though I am not perfect and make mistakes he showers me with grace.
I've gone back to memorizing scripture on a daily basis, so that the words I speak to myself are TRUE. I believe that God's Words are TRUE and HONORABLE and NOBLE and EXCELLENT.
I've been memorizing James 1:1-6 where it talks about how we should, "let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
My self-talk has been damaging to me in the past...I was starting to believe things like, I'm not good enough, I don't look good enough, I don't do enough, when those things about myself really don't measure how God feels about me. I am trying to focus more inwardly that outwardly. Isn't it funny that we tell kids beauty is only skin deep, when beauty can really be found inside and filter outwardly! It's true.
I am reading a book by Joyce Meyer right now called The Confident Woman and it is also helping me to shape the way I view myself and put it in alignment with how God views me.
My friend Suzette and I will be doing a once a week book club on it after Christmas, Lord willing, I think it is very beneficial for women to view themselves and see themselves the way God does. We are daughters of the King! We are so precious in His sight!
I was talking very mean to myself before...how about you? Have you ever done some damaging self talk? The media sure doesn't help. My suggestion is to start memorizing God's truth so your self talk will be excellent, uplifting, and be covered in grace.