03 June 2010
As I sit and face this computer screen it is 8:18 p.m. and very quiet in my house. Both kids now go to bed at the same time, so by 7:45 both were tucked in...but John was/is still not home. I began cleaning up the kitchen and reading room and did the garbage for tomorrow morning's pick up and I started to feel very, very lonely and sad. I miss John. He's still not home and just got on the bus to leave the city at 8pm which means he won't be home for awhile.
I can remember all those nights as a teacher, coming home by 4pm, cleaning, cooking doing paper work, vegging out in front of the T.V. and just waiting for him to come home. It's just not the same without him here. It's quiet and lonely and even if we might not be in the same room, when he's home I just feel more at ease, and feel complete.
So, instead of getting all depressed and mopey, and failing my good greeting when he walks in the door, which I definitely plan on giving him, I've decided to list 10 things I am thankful for...10 positively wonderful things so that I can focus on the positive until my man comes home...here goes:
1. I'm thankful that all the planning and prep that I did for Marky's party is done with and that we had a great time with friends and family this past weekend.
2. I'm thankful for all my friends who continue to uplift, encourage, bless, and make my life wonderful on a daily basis. I can't name all of you because I'd leave someone out and that wouldn't be fair, but you guys know who you are, and if you are reading this you are definitely who I am talking about. I hope you all know that I love you, love you, love you, and that I know I am a better person because you are in my life. Okay great, now I'm crying...this is supposed to be positive people!!! LOL
3. I'm thankful for my sister Sara, because she is my best friend, my buddy, my movie night partner, my reading partner, my texting pal, my twin. I love you Sara. Seriously, you never cease to amaze me how strong and hard working you are. I love how determined you can be and how you never give up on people or something difficult. You inspire me and yes, I love you more!!!
4. I am thankful for my mother in law and sister in law who made my birthday really special! They came to my house and brought me my favorite salad at Panera bread, a lemonade (my favorite drink) and a Strawberry Shortcake (my favorite cake), not to mention they played with the kids, and brought me gifts! It was a really nice lunch and I was very thankful to spend my day with them.
5. I am thankful for my daughter Julia who is super smart, super sweet, and super cute. Even though she has been testing me a lot lately with her behavior, I am really praying for wisdom to just continue to be consistent and loving with her. I love her to pieces, and she is the best part of every day. I get to play with her, teach her, nurture her, and listen to her "teach" me all the things that God shows me through her about myself. Julia mommy loves you so big and you will always be my favorite girl. (even when you tell me "NO!") I love you no matter what.
6. I am thankful for my Boy, Marky. Marky, you are getting so big, mr. man. I love seeing you climb up the steps, smile really big, eating new things, laughing with your sister, and letting Paris lick your face. You are just so precious little man. I especially love that you've been taking longer naps and sleeping through the night (FINALLY) mommy really loves it! Thanks buddy. You'll always be my BOY!
7. I am thankful for my church family. I love each and every person (all the blanket people and all the sandpaper people) because all of them help me to grow closer to Christ and point me to Him. My church family is always there supporting us and praying for us and I just love, love, love them! They are my brothers and sisters.
8. I am thankful that I am able to take my kids anywhere without stressing/worrying about will I be able to handle it, where will I nurse Marky, how will they behave, etc. God has really taught me in the last few weeks even, to enjoy every minute of my time with my kids, and motherhood, and being a worry wart does not help with the enjoying part. So I am learning to go to new places and trust God. Today we went to Menlo Park Mall by myself, I bought a few things with some birthday money, and we had lunch in the food court. It was great!
9. I am thankful for a home. Enough said.
10. I am thankful for my hard working husband who just called me (8:53) to tell me he thought our car was stolen, but found out it was towed because he parked in the wrong spot! So, I'm off to see how I can help him...he's calling me back in a few minutes. Married life, never a dull moment :)
Thank you Lord!