It's very, very hard to tell your spouse your true inner most feelings and desires. It's humbling and can be very vulnerable feeling.
Something as simple as saying, "Honey, I need you to drive slower because it makes me scared when you drive fast." can communicate honestly how you feel and leave you very open to rejection or hurt. But we know our spouses love us right? So how come instead of saying, "I need..." we get upset, we yell, we lose it, we get frustrated, when all we have to do is say, "I need you to do this ____________." Why do we make it difficult? Why is it not easier?
Well, marriage is hard work, and being honest is tough. But I am finding that when I calmly say, "I need..." I'm really communicating my love for my spouse and my trust in God, because I'm doing my part. I'm communicating my needs (instead of making John guess why I am upset or what I need) and I'm trusting God to do His part in my marriage to convict John where he might need nudging.
I need an hour to myself today because I need a break from the kids.
I need a Date Night that you plan because I miss you and I want to feel like a priority.
I need you to fix the gate outside because I can't do it.
I need you to bathe the dog.
Whatever your "I need" statement is it is valid and you are valuable enough to share it. I love my husband and I want to meet his needs and I KNOW my husband loves me and I NEED to trust him to share mine. I learned this from some very wonderful, godly, mature friends, and I'm so glad because I NEEDED to hear it.