05 March 2014

Imperfect Progress

Book Club Wednesday

It's March!!! A new month means a new book to delve into and read, discover new things about ourselves, and hopefully grow closer to God all at once.

I chose Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst because it's all about making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions.  It's a book we all can relate to, not just women, not just moms, men and women, married and single, all races, all of us.

It's funny, I chose this book even before I knew I was pregnant and now that I am starting to read it I see that God had a plan for me to read this book even before I knew why this book would mean so much to me.

Raw emotions.

Anger.  Fear.  Being Overwhelmed. Stressed.  Anxiety.  Loneliness.  

All these emotions affect us and sometimes they can control us and we can totally regret how we respond to those around us during these emotionally times.

My daughter said something to me today that really put me in check.  I snapped at her for not doing something correctly and exactly when I wanted it done, and she turned to me and said sweetly, "You know mom, everyone makes mistakes."

Knife.  In.  Heart.

I have a Type A personality that needs everything done perfectly and in a perfect way, exactly how I envisioned it 5 months ago, and when things don't go smoothly (like today at library time) well, I can get downright nasty.  In that moment with Julia and Mark walking beside me and Micah in tow I thought to myself, do I expect them to NOT make mistakes?  What kind of mother am I?  What is wrong with me?

I hope I'm not alone.  Because in those moments of raw emotions I tend to snap, get fiesty, get bossy, and be mean, and I don't want to be that person.  I told John tonight at the kitchen table while I was finishing up my BSF homework, "I used to be a nice person."  I said.  To which my knight in shining armor said, "You are a nice person!"  But lately with so much extra stress and pressure (all of which I put on myself so don't feel bad for me at all) I haven't felt very "nice".

Lysa Terkeurst states in this first chapter, "I have to figure this out.  What is my problem? Why can't I seem to control my reactions?  I stuff.  I explode.  And I don't know how to get a handle on this.  But God help me if I don't get a handle on this."

She goes on to say how imperfect progress is slow.  It doesn't happen over night or in 30 days.  It takes time.  God reveals things to us and we slowly start to see it and make changes.  We may have setbacks, in fact we will, but we can keep drawing a line in the sand as Lysa says, and trying again.  As long as we are moving forward we are in the right direction.

I have found through reading God's word, journaling, praying and even blogging, I have grown closer to God and have seen changes in me.  They are small at first of course, but God continues to stretch us and grow us.  I like blogging while reading a book because it holds me accountable and also it connects me to other people who are seeking to change and trying to do better so that we can be a blessing to those around us and not spew our raw emotions on them!

God can reveal to us how our emotions can work for us and not against us.  "God gave me emotions so I can experience life, not destroy it."

I'm excited to read this book with all of you and share what God has been doing in my life and hopefully hearing what changes he has been doing in yours.  He is so great at making all things new!


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for keeping it real. We have all been there . I know I have.


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