15 July 2010

The Five Love Languages: Part 5 Receiving Gifts

My favorite Christmas Gift was Julia on Dec 31, 2007
Let's be honest, who doesn't like to receive gifts?  I can remember being a teenager, a Junior in high school, John and I were dating, and every 28th of the month he would place a rose in my locker.  What a gesture of love!  That was such a special memory and receiving gifts from John has always been fun!

The person whose Love Language is gifts needs those mementos, needs those gifts as a reminder, as a token of your love for them.  It's usually not just the gift that matters, but the thought that goes into it.

Gary Chapman, from the book, The Five Love Languages says, "Gifts are visual symbols of love...symbols have emotional value."  For example, for those of you who are married, I'm sure your wedding ring is your visual symbol of love with your spouse.  Every time you look down at your finger, or take your ring off to do the dishes, or make a meat loaf, or roll some dough, you are reminded that you belong to someone.  You remember how and when he proposed.  You may even remember picking out your ring.

My husband picked out my engagement ring, and let me tell you, he did a great job.  It's beautiful.  "Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others."  I guess that's why not every married couple wears their wedding rings.  (Although, you will always find me and John wearing ours.)  In fact, I've never seen John without his.

"A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look he was thinking of me," or "She remembered me."  You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift."  I think that is another reason why I love sending cards and care packages and why I love receiving mail.  When you open up that card or package there is no mistaking the love, effort, and time someone put into as they thought of you.  It's so nice.  My friend Christy H. makes me CDs.  She puts all different music artists on them...it takes time, and effort and lots of love.  I treasure those CDs.  If my house was on fire Id run back in to save them, right along with my wedding album and the kids baby albums.

Gifts and Money 

Let's say your love language is not receiving gifts and you are quite the saver/investor.  Spenders will have little difficulty with purchasing gifts for their spouse or loved ones, but a saver might.  You may not be the type to purchase things for yourself so why should you purchase things for your spouse?  Gary Chapman says, "By saving and investing money you are purchasing self worth and emotional security.  You are caring for your own emotional needs in the way you handle money.  What you are not doing is meeting the emotional needs of your spouse."  (this book is geared toward a husband/wife relationship)  So basically, Gary Chapman went on to say that to fill your spouse's love tank in this area you need to see that purchasing gifts for your spouse is a great investment.  He says, "Don't worry about your savings.  you will always be a saver, but to invest in loving your spouse is to invest in blue chip stocks!"  I liked that perspective.

The Weavers, our dear friends who are more like family.

The Gift of Self

This is a great gift.  It is you.  It is spending time.  It is merely your presence.  Being there for people when they need you.  This will also speak loudly to your spouse or to someone whose primary love language is receiving gifts, because what better gift out there is better than YOU?  If I could have a day spent with all the people I love and all we did was sit around and talk and just be together, oh my, that is all I would ask for.  I'd much rather a friend's presence or my spouse's presence than a present.

The gift of John's presence spent together in London.

"Gifts need not be expensive, nor must they be given weekly.  But for some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love." ---Gary Chapman


  1. You have given me some of the best compliments I've ever received and this one might top them all :) ...I love making you cds, I'm so glad you feel the love intended! xoxoxo Christy


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