20 July 2010

The Five Love Languages: Part 6 Acts of Service

Daddy feeding Marky.
Acts of Service

This is one of my love languages! 

Speaking for myself, to fill my love tank, when John does things like, help feeding one of the kids a meal, takes out the trash, does the dishes, vacuums a rug, goes food shopping, unloads the dishwasher, folds a load of laundry (okay, honestly I'd rather fold our laundry, I'm sort of picky about how towels and things get folded.) it speaks volumes of love to me!

John helping me with our Thanksgiving meal.

Acts of Service however gets me in trouble with filling up John's love tank because sometimes I think, well, I cook for him, I do his laundry, I clean the house...doesn't he see how much I love him??? And I forget that John could honestly care less about those things.  That's not his love language.  It's mine.  So, I have to remember that just because those things speak volumes to me, they really are just added bonuses for John, because his love tank is filled by my affection and my words.

If John came home to a messy house, no clean clothes, no food ready to eat, want to know what he'd do?  Look around the house to find me and greet me with a hug and a kiss and ask me about my day...I know he's such a keeper ;)  That's just how he is wired...but me on the other hand (An Acts of Service woman)  If I came home to a messy house, the kids crying, nothing in it's place or ready for the next "feeding time"  I'd be searching him down and ready to explode thinking/saying "Why can't you help with x, y, and z?"  "Don't you care/love us?"  That's really how I'd feel.  Those things mean a lot to me because it's what I do all day for him and our kids, because I love them, because I care.

So, if you are an Acts of Service person, then you know exactly what I mean.  If you know a friend or are married to a spouse who speaks this love language, then you can show them you love them by speaking their language.  Ask them, "How can I be of help to you?"  "What can I do?"  If they say nothing, then sit back and relax, but if they tell you a job or a chore then consider yourself lucky that they felt comfortable enough to open up and be honest and allow you to help them!

1 comment:

  1. I have been asking those around me how they feel loved and trying to show them love in those ways. Thanks for these posts, Kristi. They are a real help.


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