21 January 2013

Story of a "Crunchy Granola" Mommy

This was at Monmouth Medical for Mark's water birth
High Expectations

I'm at 30 weeks and of course already looking ahead to the finish line of this pregnancy and into the delivery room hopeful for the "perfect birth" and a healthy baby.

But we all know there is no such thing as a "perfect birth".  Each birth story is unique and has it's own twists and turns. 

Being as though this is my third pregnancy of course I want another all natural birth, no pain meds, no interventions, and Lord willing another wonderful water birth, but I am leaving that all in God's hands.  I know I need to just focus on taking one day at at time.  There is no sense in over planning or worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.  I know God will give me the grace and strength to get through whatever lies ahead.  Whether I have the baby a few weeks early or right on time or a few weeks late.

Don't Roe and John make a great team?  They were setting up my tub
 John and I used to tease our doula Roe and call her "crunchy granola" because of course she believes in all natural and that the pain during labor is for a purpose and that all women are strong enough to have the birth that they want.  Whether that be all natural or not.

I wouldn't call myself a completely crunchy granola mommy.  I mean, yes, I do nurse my babies for the first year, and shoot for all natural deliveries, but I don't puree all our baby food, I don't use cloth diapers, and I believe that every women is entitled to the birth she wants.  I don't think you are a better mom because you breastfeed or a bad mom because you don't.  That's just silly.  Let's face it we all do the best we can and hope and pray we don't scar our children for life as we raise them!

I do believe that once you set your mind to do something or try something you should go for it with all your might.  I saw a water birth delivery as a high school teenager and ever since then I always wanted to deliver my kids that way.  I just thought it was such a peaceful and gentle way to birth your baby.  I also felt for me, using an epidural was risky and I wanted to try to labor without it.  I still have friends who think I am nuts, well maybe I am.  But on the same token I would never judge a mom who chose to get an epidural.  We all have different pain tolerances.  And I think if a woman wants one then by all means she should get one.  Personally, it's just not for me.

Same thing with breastfeeding, I think it's awful that moms who feed their babies formula get such a bad rap or are made to feel like failures in some way.  That is their choice.  Frankly, I just feel lucky that I was able to produce enough milk for my babies and that they thrived and did so well on breast milk, some babies don't and some moms have such a difficult time nursing that formula is the only way.  Why do we judge each other about something so private?

And I won't even go into the whole circumcision issue.  Every parent is entitled to make those decisions for their child without judgment.  Why are we so hard on each other?

Let's be honest, whether you breastfeed, circumcise, or puree all your baby food none of these things makes you a better mom, mom of the year, or even mom of the day...these things are all just choices along the way that every parent must face and decide. 

With this third and possibly final pregnancy/delivery I am going to focus on keeping my heart and mind open to these decisions and to all the twists and turns that life may throw at me.  Crunchy granola or not, I am just happy to be a mommy again!

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