14 March 2010

John, my beloved, my friend...

Song of Solomon 5:16

His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!

So, I've decided to make Sundays my post about my aspiration to be an "excellent wife."

I'll be sharing some funny stories.
I'll be sharing some honest experiences.
I'll be sharing God's word and what He is teaching me about my job as a wife.
And also some books that I'm re-reading to keep my posts interesting.

I'll be sharing from:

The Excellent Wife: by Martha Peace
For Women Only:What you need to know about the inner lives of men By. Shaunti Feldhahn
The Power of a Praying Wife: By Stormie O'Martin

Today's story happened early this morning (it's Saturday afternoon right now).
It was 6 am and Mark just woke up so I brought him into our room and all three of us were hanging out on our bed (Julia was still asleep) and we were talking about how much Mark looks like Julia and how big he's getting, and as John was getting up to head into the shower he goes, "So honey, you are just going to be relaxing here today, right?" Hmmmmmmm....I had 2 choices

1. Get upset
2. Answer in love

So I said, "Well, honey, I wouldn't call it relaxing, but yes, I will be home today." And I actually left it at that. That is not like me. Usually I would have gotten all huffy and puffy and tried to defend my job as mother and homemaker and listed all the things I had to do, which include:

1. Feeding both kids
2. Getting both kids dressed
3. Changing diapers
4. Potty training
5. Cleaning up after breakfast
6. Cooking a meal for a friend that just had surgery
7. Taking a shower
8. Driving the food to a friend
9. Changing diapers
10. Potty training
11. Feeding both kids
12. Playing
13. Making a few phone calls
14. Cleaning up after lunch
15. Load of laundry
16. Dishes
17. sweeping/vacuuming
18. making dessert for small group tonight

Yup, just at home relaxing!!!

Now, all John was really asking was "Will you be home today?" And I knew that, but I sometimes jump ahead and try to analyze what he meant. I am learning to stop reading into the things he says, and just honestly believing the best about him, which, is that he loves me and the kids and is trying so hard to be a good dad. He works so many hours every day and he gives it 110 percent just like I do. I need to be loving and respectful at all times.

But sometimes, those comments can trigger hurt feelings. That's why we really have to learn our husbands and remember what God's word says.

James 1:19-20 says "So then my beloved brethren let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

So ladies, let's pray for eachother's marriages or future marriages. And remember to be slow to speak and quick to listen and slow to get angry!

Have a blessed Sunday!


  1. Wow, that's a good reminder to me as well. I tend to snap when I get questions like that. Yet sometimes, it's best to lay down our pride and answer in love. Thanks for writing this! I am looking forward to hearing your stories.

    (Also- is this background new? It's really pretty!)

  2. I love it! Sounds like a typical conversation around here. I can sometimes pull out my list of "relaxing items for the day" but then I have to remember that for him being home is relaxing. Thanks for the reminder, Kristi.

  3. GREAT post Kristi! Great minds think alike ;-) I needed that reminder about my choice to control how a conversation can go based on my response. Thanks for sharing... We actually had a rough day yesterday (post church) communicating - and of course it was while I was on the "blessing" campaign! I guess Satan tries to mess up a good thing, huh? Praying for your marriage today!

  4. Oh, Kristin, totally been there! Communication between husband and wife is very trying at times, and why does it seem like Satan chooses to attack on the weekends? The very days we want to be with our husbands and we want everything to go smoothly, right? Praying for your marriage today too!


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